"Alf, for the block!"

Ahh...Its been a while since ive posted. Some of you may have started to think that i grew up or something, so as proof of the contrary...

If you have ever read this blog before, you will know that I do not trust television very much, yet they always seem to find a way to make me trust them less. I was watching hollywood squares the other day, and I saw easily the stupidest thing possible: Alf was center square. this is probably old news to most of you, but i didnt get a memo or anything, so bear with me. alf. what the fuck. i can handle a flamboyant black woman, even a bitter lesbian, but not alf. NEVER alf. this Godless creature deserves to be nowhere but my ass.

Call me a pussy, but that shits scary. my memories of the alf show are very vague, most probably blocked out as trauma. i remember alf in a kitchen talking about eating cats. would you really want alf loose in your house? around your kids? and cats?? come on!! ALF!

by the way alf stands for Alien Life Form........it actually hurts...

as usual, i am not that offended by alf's existence. i accept the fact that God has created sick and twisted people on this earth soley to fuck with me, much like i accept the existence of nazis and zionists. but what kills me is the immense popularity of alf. he was embraced by the american public and made into an icon. from popularity comes merchandise:

Alf Comics:

dont read the word bubbles if you value your sanity. people actually read this. now why would you do that? peoples children asked them "mom, dad, can i have an alf comic?" and people said yes. thats as bad as naming a wheelchair-ridden kid "rider"

"Alf Tales" TV Show:

theres more of him. yup. alf gets a whole alfin' family to play with, complete with two younger siblings and parents. fuck every one of them. and why is it that in cartoons, just wearing a shirt is enough to count as dressed? YOU ARE ALL NAKED. i really dont like the sister, with her hands on her hips like shes some shit. pudgy ass bitch.

Alf Video Game:

This one is painful. i was always a fan of old school games with shit graphics, but this is just...ass. and im not christian or anything, but ISNT WALKING ON WATER RESERVED FOR JESUS CHRIST?!?! ALF IS NOT JESUS. fuck. the quote. hes trying to be whimsically cute. thank God there was no picture of him in a speedo or something...

Alf Plush Toys:

Plush toys have a way of never looking like what theyre supposed to, and this one is no exception. alleged 'toy' above looks more like a cooked chimpanzee fetus than anything else, and is not something i would give to my children. or any children. and ive been known to hurt me some kid.

so there you have it. alf. another piece of stupid from the 80s, and one who haunts us till this day in reruns of hollywood squares.

people complain about islamic terrorism. at least we didnt invent alf.

Tags: alf, /oh no/, /why god, entertainment, television, random

oopsies!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
stupid ass chick.

Tags: egg, chick, random

gas master

got a funny ass site for y'all! hahaha what a funny ass site...now il admit, i knew about it from before but i havent visited it in many years. you can ask ramsey when it comes to gas (with mass from the ass) i AM the king, it is ony normal that im going to show you this.

http://www.fart.com/fartwavs.html

its just different farting sounds. some of my favs/recomendations are ton o' farts, forced grease, skid marks, fart on the run, southpark, bean fart song, and shotgun fart. i know it all sounds grewsome but please, i beg you, give em all a try. itl be worth your time. you can also go to www.fart.com for more fart-related topics like cards, movies n whatever else.

have a fartalicious time! (god i hate myself)

Tags: fart, sound, random

never to be forgotten

As many of you know, Richard Prior passed away recently at the age of 65. he was a great inspiration for almost all comedins today(Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, Bernie Mac n many more). i just felt that our site had to pay tribute to this legend since Ramsey and i both, not only enjoy but, belive in comedy. many things on this site are comedic or on a brighter side of things, we dont take shit too seriosuly because we dont see a need to do so. we share that raw and angry comedy that he's made so famous, i just thought since we are like this we owed him at least a lousy post. Richard Prior, the man who made the word "mothafucka" famous, was one of the greatest thats ever done it. He was the real king of comedy and even after death he will be celebrated. may you rest in peace my man.

Tags: /richard prior/, comedy, entertainment, random

why, god?

according to sloth.com (yes, it exists) a sloth's self defense is camoflauge. ya think?! well, hes not gonna run away is he?












god i hate this animal...

hints that your existense is meaningless:

1. your name is a sin

2. it takes you 13 hours to climb a tree

3. your self defense is being ugly

4. you have only 3 digits

Tags: sloth, animals, random

the beautiful 3rd world

- Serbia

Buffy gone wild

now, in a brighter light, i have a very amusing site for you. no, im not gonna diss any pop icons or movie stars. please take a look at this hilarious site that my good sister pointed out to me. watch buffy swear...

http://www.rathergood.com/buffy/

For more unimportant and pointless songs/events (for lack of a better word) visit: http://www.rathergood.com

on the left hand side there will be a bunch of stuff to pick from. if youre bored and have nothing better to do...CH-CH-CHECK IT OUT.

fenks sis.

Tags: buffy, internet, random

The Beatles: Overrated

my next victims: THE BEATLES. oooooh this is a good one. now, dont hate me. i wouldnt post it if ramsey wasnt cool with it. he cant stand them either! hahaha. for you beatles lovers out there dont leave just yet! stay, relax, read the post; you might leave enlightened. hear me out. i will, however, shit on them and it wont be pretty but hey life aint pretty so deal with it.


now heres a spunky bunch! known for their dickhead hair, soundproof eyeglasses and offcourse their catchy tunes. yanno, the tunes that all sound the same n that make me want to dig out my eyes with a blunt axe. those tunes that sound the same n that are so repetative it makes you ckeck your stereo twice cuz u think its broken. those tunes that sound the same with lyrics that CLEARLY reveal that all four (lennon,mccartny n the other two) were on drugs. those tunes that sound the same. hold on, they sound the same. its as if you put oasis' wonderwall on repeat...n after aaaaaaaaaaaall, youre my wonderwaaaaaaaaaall. say maybeeeeeee (maybeeeeeeee) youre gonna be the one that saves meeeeeeeee (saves meeeeeee), n after aaaaaaaaaaaaall, youre my wonderwaaaaaaaaaall...

ya get the point.

"I Want To Hold Your Hand "

Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand
I'll let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

wait wait! nono, dont help me out here! i can figure it out by myself...hmmmmm... im GUESSING someone wants to hold someone else's hand...its just an idea im throwin out there really! im not sure... PLEASE. which crackhead came up with these lyrics. cant you just picture them with their fatass guitars n their matching outfits and their shoobidoos? theyre bouncin around high on fame n meth n makin the girls go wild. "oooh i want me some of that british lovin. oh what? u have bad teeth n nasty hair? i dont care! as long as youre up on stage singin about holdin my hand i think i want to conceive your babies!" ass munchers.

"Yellow Submarine"

So we sailed up to the sun
Till we found the sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine

whoa! this was apparently written as they were being introduced to the magic shrooms. sea of green? im sorry, its either a sea full of mold or sea full of bright n colorful things! sailed up to the sun? you cannot fly a sumbarine! you sick bastards, little kids were singin these tunes! and yellow, if im not mistaken, refers to their teeth. u nasty nasty brits. you trick little chicldren into thinkin youre singin about a friendly yellow submarine thats magical. u never define magical! godamnit I sang it when i was a kid only to realize that i had been a victim to your flower-power-lets-get-high-like-theres-no-tomorrow- bullshit. fruitcakes.

"Ob-la-di Ob-la-da"

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra
La-la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra
La-la how the life goes on, yeah (No)

WOW. well thought out guys! it seems like lennon was really thinkin straight when he wrote this masterpiece. this was post-magic shrooms. this is where their memory span halted n they couldnt remember the nights before. and one more thing guys, whats bra?! tell me thats brittish slang for brother. TELL ME THIS! i will kill you commit suicide n kill you again...n again n again n again n again until u start killing yourselves. and yeh, usually when im down i hop around saying gibberish like obladi-oblada-bambooroo-shoobidoo-bapaaa life goes on BROTHER. yeh thats me alright. then i snap out of it and piss on your graves you deceased losers. ass bandits.

in conclusion: they are overrated. but its not the peoples fault. they were all too busy livin in the yellow submarine to realize they were listening to shitty music. the problem is that people my age listen to them as well. their parents must have done something to them cuz that shit aint right. we're supposed to be the future. future. not the handicapped. well either way i dont wanna see these fruitloops on tv anymore, theyve been dead for decades now i dont know what the fuss is. the oldies, still listenin to them, can do it quielty and on their own time and my generation needs to move the fuck on n stop being so simple. as far as the future goes...lets hope they start driving actual vehicles n not go for the yellow submarines cuz we all know what that leads us to...

Obladi-Oblada-babababa-booboooo

ya get the picture.

Tags: /the beatles/, /yellow submarine/, drugs, entertainment, music, random

dolphin 007

i found this article on dolphins. PLEASE read it. i have so many damn comments about it but i don't want to ruin anything. i just dont think im gonna look at dolphins the same way again. im not an animal activist or anything, i never really gave two shits, so this is good feedback for me. animals are, in fact, evil. when someone calls you an 'animal' i believe there is some logic behind it and that it is not an overated expression.

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,,1577753,00.html

its so american. read it, you'll know what im talkin about. who else would do this? they can get dolphins to do all this but they cant find tupacs killer. ok.

Tags: dolphin, katrina, terrorist, random

Anniversary!

Well, its been exactly one month and a day (didnt have time to post yesterday) since empty white room went online, and we managed to round up about 760 visitors. not bad for a site as pointless as this one, considering i was unable to post for two weeks due to exams.

One thing that saddens me, though, is the lack of comments. i dont get it. no one is commenting. i know theyre reading the posts (were tracking the site guys), but no one is responding to out inanity! It hurts a bit, u know?

Ok, lets make it intersting. The first person to post wins a brand new hat! Horray! now get to it!

(u see oleg?!? u see the feather?!?!? i told u they put a feather in the hat!!!! i knew this u horrible serb)

well, thats all for now. good things to come, so keep coming back.

quick break from multivariable calculus

hmmmm......

Well, turns out im 'milli vanilli'

Analysis:

1. Guy on the left (milli?) has something in his teeth. not cool

2. Guy on the right (vanilli?) looks like a brazillian goalie gone horribly wrong.

3. They are wearing stupid shirts. That match somewhat, oh no.

4. Lose the *stupid* dreads, your not bob marley.

in conclusion, i agree with oleg on this. the 80s were very very bad. other than tetris and super mario...i cant see any good things coming out of that horrible decade.

milli vanilli...at least it rhymes.

can't escape the damn decade!

oh no!

but OH NO!

the 80's strike again! i hate the 80's...more than all the punk rock and all the mary harts and all the rosseane barrs and all the bill clintons...i hate the 80's with a passion.

PASSION.

found a site where you can take a quiz to find out what 80's band you would be...its things like these that make me an atheist.

As you can see im Echo and the Bunnymen.

im sorry, WHO!?

http://quizilla.com/users/MargeLoves/quizzes/What%20band%20from%20the%2080s%20are%20you?/

Tags: /80s bands, quiz, entertainment, /echo and the bunny men/, random

breaking Mary's Hart

I have to apologize on the behalf of my friend, Ramsey (Nasser), for him not being able to post these past couple of days; he’s been busy. I also have to apologize for posting my hateful posts for the past couple of days (I could give a fuck-less) and if you didn’t enjoy them LEAVE NOW if not then sit back n relax and let my hate take you over…

“Entertainment Tonight! The most watched entertainment news channel in the world!” sound familiar? Its those mannequin-like hosts of Entertainment Tonight(ET). Well, I decided since me and Ramsey shit on many…things. Entertainment-type things like shows, actors, ads, etc. so WHY NOT just attack the home base? You can kill as many soldiers as you like but if they don’t have an officer or a base to take orders from then they all fall (I made this saying on the spot, for more information contact me at +961 334 8898). And who else to shit on but Entertainment Tonight! (and the exclamation mark is there) and instead of beading around the bush I decided to stick it to em and go straight to the commander in chief… Mary Hart.

Now you might know mary as the all-american lookin host of ET (you might think Extra Terrestrial by lookin at her eerie features); shes got the long, straight hair, the perfect smile and the oh-my-god-i-want-to-wither-up-and-die witty punch lines. “Well Mark I think King Kong will be a King size blockbuster this summer!” “you got that right mary…now, richard simmons tells us the tragic story of hurricane Katrina and his lost home…” im sorry! When was that transition made!? Was I not informed? It’s the most unbalanced show I have ever seen, they talk about anything from extreme make-overs to new blockbusters to the gossip in their neighborhood. You want to NOT make my mind implode?!

ACTUAL HAPPENING:

Mark: “well im here on the set for Matrix Revolutions and I’m noticing some big guns mary and im pointing them all at you.”
Mary: “haha, well mark I might have some guns of my own that you don’t know about.”

Do you think youre smart?! You MUST think youre the shit. if that’s the best you can come up with than I don’t wanna see you on a bad day! A Child Called It comes up with wittier lines than you.

I bet your asses ANYTHING that mary n mark hate each other behind the scenes…
“aaaaand cut!”
“mark you wanna grab a drink?”
“mary you wanna grab on my NUTSACK?!”
“no! thanks for the offer mark! Ive had enough lookin at your sack, it droops out of your pants, you old fart!”
“I wish you didn’t talk about your face like that mary! Its not good for your self confidence!”
“well I wish YOU DIDN’T EXIST YOU GOAT-FUCKING-MOUNTAINBIKE-RIDING-HOMOSEXUAL-PRIMATE!”
“WELL YOU SHOULD STOP STANDING UNDER THESE LIGHTS YOUR FISHERPRICE FACE MIGHT MELT MARY!”
“4,3,2,1…”
“and we’re back! Next up, we explore brad pitt’s new movie where he plays a witty spy… well, we better start calling him brad wit!”

diiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee.


(Left: lion in mating season/mary hart in the 80’s. Right: mary hart 3000)

mary hart SURELY went under the knife SEVERAL times…the above images look like after/before pictures and not the other way around. ET (Entertainment Termination) is having their 25 years anniversary. SHE’S BEEN THERE ALL 25 YEARS. Unless she started her career at the age of FIVE and turned 30 recently there is NO WAY some expensive body lotion helped her look that young. Mary, honey, I KNOW you went under SEVERAL knives but deep inside your heart (and soul) is older than pope john paul II. The day mary’s sickening smile is wiped off I will make love to a chimpanzee and ENJOY it.

Those over exaggerated expressions making her look like those damn emoticons on msn makes me sick to my stomach, the “aw’s” and “oh’s” make me want to pierce her head with a blunt gardening tool…struttin around in her revealing skirts. Give it up mary youre not tina turner! ET’s (Everyday Torture) crew can only do so much with make up mary but we see your worn out legs shaking the moment you step on that bright spotlight that seems to melt the dye right off your hair.

ET (Elements of Treachery) need to step their game up and FIRE the clever-talkin-dinosaur and replace her with a young, educated woman who DOESN’T HAVE TO BE WITTY FOR YOU TO LIKE HER! And whatever happened to good ol’ fashioned funny people? They outta style now?

Well lets me put it this way…mary you show your face around here lets just say il turn your Hart into oh-my-god-i-think-im-dying-a-very-slow-and-painful-death.

How’s that for a witty punchline?

Tags: entertainment, /entertainment tonight/, ET, mary hart, television, random

say no to bradley!

from:

MALEGROW - CHANGE LIFE

subject:

AREYOUBIGENOGHbradley?


from:

ERECTIONSAFE WITHHERBVIAG

subject:

UPIN20MINUTESbradley


from:

must encounter willing males

subject:

Sx-weak women

*these junk mail titles have not been altered or modified.


people wonder, my friends my family, they all wonder why i am such an angry guy. i mean i dont have that many reasons. not personal ones anyway. i mean my parents treat me right, i have an education, i live in good conditions...my life does not contain THAT many problems for me to be so angry. people are puzzled and i dont blame them. BUT what people dont know is that i CANT HELP THE ANGER. now i dont mean to sound like a raging goth but its like everyones ASKING FOR IT!

people, i dont lie. when i join hotmail i put my ACTUAL date of birth, 21/02/87. they ask for my name, i give them Oleg Pupovac. they ask me where i live, i type in Lebanon with the postal code and all. so why in gods name do they NOT know that i DONT need upin20minutes viagra! im EIGHTEEN for fucks sake i wake up feelin like im on viagra! (guys yanno what im talkin about) AND my name ISNT bradley damit! and NO i dont need to seek weak women, u sick twisted fuck!

what is it with the junkmail? is it just me? doesnt anyone else have these problems? are we all BRADLEYS!? godamn. the other problem is that i keep getting notices that my inbox is "approaching its limit!" (the exclemation mark is always there). the problem is that my inbox memory is full because of these god forsaken junk mails...UPIN20MINUTESinbox? sounds like it.

the viagra ads seem to be FEEDING my inbox and now its full cuz the pill is at a high demand since hugh hefner inspired old farts around the world to believe they can still "get jiggy with it."

listen up bradley, next time you swing round and ask me if i want to pop some ego enhancers, im in the car, lock n loaded and huntin your motherfuckin ass down!

Tags: viagra, bradley, junk, /junk mail/, internet, random

James Blonde

OK PEOPLE! somethings terribly wrong. im so... fuckin pissed! the last time a teenage serb was pissed he started the WORLD WAR. this ain't healthy. someone better do somehting about this problem that i have because i KNOW it will just get worse...

we had great james bonds in our day... sean connery (a king among men), Roger Moore (got the job done) and Pierce Brosnan (smoother than silk on a woman's ass)...BUT can we add daniel craig to the list?

name: daniel craig
hair: blonde
eyes: blue
nationality: SWEDISH!?

the answer is a definate no. i think blonde i think yellow i think yellow i think URINE i think urine i think of pissing on his hopes for becoming the next james bond! PEOPLE, why am i the only one furious about this poor decision to make daniel craig the next james bond?

i understand if there was a certain charm about him, something small and unusual that gave him character but blonde hair is NOT THE LOOK THEY SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR...Sean rocked the short black hair that added to his charm, Roger rocked the orangish brown hair for an unusual yet satisfying look and Pierce rocked the black poofy hair which, surprisingly, worked and whats poor ol' daniel gonna rock? hes gonna rock NOTHING. blonde does not suit badass spies who can have any girl they please. as a matter of fact the only BLONDES in james bond movies are the females. hear that danny boy, FEMALES. from ursula andress to cecilie thomsen. females.

lets hope daniel is the next timothy dalton (The Living Daylights, License to Kill...kill his ass-chin!) and only gets one or two movies under his belt because if danny sticks around for too long i think i just might have to end him.

Tags: /james bond/, /daniel craig/, blonde, entertainment, random

Crazy Moves

Is it just me, or is the Caution: Wet Floor man a killer break dancer?




probably just me

Tags: moves, dancing, yellow, random

The Sitcom Shitlist

if u havent noticed, me and oleg dont like....things. shitty things. sometimes we take these shitty things and put them into lists. shitlists. expect more of these to come for a range of topics, including movies, video games, countries (gonna be a long one)...

The definitive shitlist of comedies that made it big, but whose writers should be shot. Me and oleg have been talking about this for a while, now its time to share our knowledge with the world. heres how it works:

1. the shows are all sitcoms
2. inclusion is based on how bad the writing is. acting dosent interest us here
3. the final judgment is based on me and oleg's opinions. no external forces are worth of influencing us
4. if both of us decide that we cannot sit through a show, its here. opposition from either one of us saves the show.
5. to be fair, we have both seen at least a handful of each of these shows' episodes
6. did we miss anything? let us know. were happy to shit on other people's hard work anytime

all right, here they are in no particular order

Oleg and Ramsey's Sitcom Shitlist

Rosanne

a violently bad show about a violently FAT woman. its basically your standard family sitcom minus the money. major themes are money problems, family problems, some more money problems and so on. if seeing other people wallow in their own filth and misery is comedy, then i must have missed the memo guys. but i really wouldnt mind it this much if it wasnt for rosanne's excruciating voice that makes me WANT TO DIE. when she laughs, my soul retreats.......

Golden Girls

Just like sex in the city, except the city just happens to be Constantinople. i feel this show is geared more towards granny fetishes and senior citizens who want to believe they can still get jiggy with it with out breaking a hip. sources of comedy include the mother's predictable bluntness, the predictable stupid one, the predictable slutty one, and the other one who was made normal for contrast. its sad when you can predict an entire episode before its aired. by the way, was viagra available when this show came out? it seems to be the main character...

Benson

a butler becoming assistant governor?? come on!! its too unbelievable to be acceptable. why not just make clause, who sounds like hitler's nanny, president? why not? isnt that zany enough? once again, painfully predictable comedy. 'oh clause is saying something, oh now benson said something witty back. isnt this a blast...' how did people ever find this funny? my dad told me he used to watch it back in the day...lets just say i came very close to becoming an orphan

Harry and the Hendersons

'a normal family sitcom...with a bigfoot! thats got to be funny, right?' i want to meet the twisted fuck who came up with this. its like jamming a talking kangaroo into smallville to make things more dramatic. what can i say? its just not.....funny. i actually leave the room when this show comes on, and it takes alot to move my fat ass.

Sex and the City

plot: a bunch of relatively attractive women. having sex. um...in the city. ok, thanks for reminding me how how shitty my life is, but inducing self pity is not comedy. i think some of the writers got that mixed up. a very hatable sex comedy that gets its "laughs" (note the double quotes i used) from awkward and quirky sex humor. die die die die die

Alf

where is God?

The Nanny

Falls in line with rosanne. a comedy where everything is set in place and cannot be moved, allowing for joke after original joke! witty butler? evil assistant? single but attractive father? sexy non-annoyingohmyGodthatsalie nanny? a winning set up! why change any of that? ever? really!? it wont get old!!!

fuckers

Brady Bunch

never watched too much of this dribble, good looking out mom and dad. two single parents with 3 kids each get married and live the perfect life. come the fuck on! single parents with 3 kids....were talking widows or divorcees, orphans, step children/parents, broken homes people! if the same story was set now it would be depressing as fuck, like the 'brady case' or something. the girls would turn out whores, at LEAST two of the guys would be gay, everyone would drink and smoke their troubles away. this is not a happy situation people! parents argue on tv nowadays and the kid comes out messed up, think of what would happen f u put him in the brady blender...that shit just isnt right.

Coach

again, i was mostly spared of this growing up...but to be fair i forced my self through a few episodes recently, and it was like forcing myself through a small pipe filled with broken glass. lengthwise. its like the writers just gave up, and thought that the laugh track would tell people that something funny was happening, because that really is the only indicator...

Blossom

ok, some facts: when your nose constitutes 32% of your body mass, you will not have a very exciting love life. the writers, crafty as they are, neglected this detail when making the show. blossom and her friend six (no one can ever make fun of oleg and ramsey again) grow up together, go through lifes hardships, enter woman hood and all that spaz, because we give a shit right? a talkative friend and a neanderthal brother saying 'whoa!' gets funnier every time...

Who's the Boss?

Who's the boss? no im serious, who's fucking in charge here? this was not a good show and someone has to pay. your ass is mine danza.

The Parkers

big women with tight tight clothes. in the words of my traumatized little sister "ramsey...dont they know theyre fat? why dosent someone tell them?" i really had no answer to that. a pointless poorly put together moesha spin off thats a waste of my time...and thats saying something...

Family Matters

im sick of shows that make one good joke their first season and try to coast off of it for the next few years, hoping no one will notice..."did i do thaaaaaaat?" yes u did u goatfuck, now hang by ur suspenders till you die.

Quick theory: any show whose title consists of [NAME] & [NAME] is automatically shit. maybe with an exception or two, but none comes to mind. so here they are:

The &'s

Will & Grace

Faith & Hope

Ned & Stacy

Dharma & Greg

to the writers of these shows: please roll over & die. theres a format u might recognize, ass bandits

there u have it. shows that haunt us forever, in the worst way possible. as this is a flexible list, well be adding more as we realize more shows. removing? dont really think so...

Tags: Entertainment, Television, review, shitlist

disturbed? seek help please

we all dream. our dreams usually don't make sense but we make some sense of them. for example, if you are about to travel the next day and you dream about a bird one might say that was because of your anticipation for that trip. HOWEVER, if you dream about a cowboy riding a fish you might (might is an understatement) wanna seek help. i found a site where a guy paints his dreams...well i have nothing else to say. take a look for yourself.



http://members.toast.net/saddletrout/galleryA.html

on the same site i found some...fantabolous "inventions." if you were ever thinking of purchasing an anti-smoking cowboy hat this is thee perfect site for you.





http://members.toast.net/saddletrout/attic.html

no comment.

Tags: dreams, REM, painting, weird, invention, random

Y2KFC

everyone's going crazy. humans, animals, politicians...you name it. it all started with those damn cows, they all had to get diseased. before then we never had problems with animals...sure potatoes didnt grow in ireland and the plague came and killed a couple of people but animals...well they were always cool with us. even after we cut their forests, intoxicated their rivers and used them as rugs, they never really DIED on us unless we gunned them down.

now ALL OF A SUDDEN animals (much like the paris riots) are striking back, rioting. first it was the cows that were dieseased and now its our birds! and they are worse than suicide bombers: they migrate. they go from country to country spreading their love with influenza. the farmers can kill them all they want but theyre the ones who will die a slow and painfull death. i just dont think its fair that the chickens are doing this to us. theyre not being very creative with the whole avian flu thing. when the animals all met and came up with the ingenius idea of the avian influenza they didnt leave much to our imagination, we see crippled chicken all the time. KFC anyone?

personally i just think its a low-blow from the chickens. surely they can do better than that. being from the farm myself ive seen animals do some crazy shit... chicks drowning in the pigs food, my uncle getting kicked by a bull, roosters attacking little children...im just dissapointed. maybe theyre just preparing us for something greater to come, maybe theyre just toying with us...we will never know. they might even be the masterminds behind the london and paris attacks...but one things for sure people: dont let your guard down because before you know it we might be the victims.

KFH...you do the math.

Tags: bird, KFC, Kentucky, Chicken, Y2K, random

Punk Rock: Great Sales

Ramsey and i share many views but this is one we are truly PASSIONATE about: punk rock. now i love music. i listen to it all day everyday, im mostly into rap n hip-hop but i like good rock as well (jimi hendrix, led zappelin, metallica). but when you dye your hair in a cheap attempt to be different and paint your fingernails then your'e just screaming "look at me! look at me!" i mean if you have to go that far to get some attention then you've got fuckin issues.

i know its the 21st century and transvestites arent discriminated against and its cool to "fight society" and we know you are a rich kid but SOMEHOW everyone hates you and the world is hell but dont parade your bullshit on tv and make profit off of it.

Blink 182's "All The Small Things"

"All the small things
True care truth brings
I'll take one lift
Your ride, best trip"

im sorry blink but your GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT. its not even slang youre just throwing words at us. then in the song theres about a minute of na na na na na na na's. well whos the genius that came up with THOSE lyrics? wow. i nominate blink for the nobel.

Green Day "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"

"I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone"

AT LEAST theyre grammatically correct. but these are the rich white kids who, for some odd reason, have a problem with the way the world is run (or atleast they say so). these are the kids that not too long ago sang about skating down the block and meeting sweet babes and had green hair (get it? GREEN day. wow the creativity). they all of a sudden grew up and saw where the money was: Bush. they shit on american society in their latest album and the results are phenomenal: great sales.

Good Charlotte "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"

"Always see it on t.v.
Or read it in the magazines
Celebrities who want sympathy
All they do is piss and moan
Inside the rolling stone
Talkin'about how hard life can be"

i love this bunch. they JUST described EXACTLY what theyre doing. for gods sake their album is called "The Young and the Hopeless."can you get more depressing? now these are the rich kids with the dyed hair and the painted fingernails and the from-your-ballsack-to-your-temple-piercings. i DARE you to show up like that here in the 3rd world...they'll use your ass as an example.

I'm not a hater but i had to let this out. it seems like any punk rock band is a hit. why? maybe cuz in their video clips they run around with naked midgits or maybe cuz their guitars hang low or maybe its just the well-thought out,deep lyrics that have an affect on us. we will never know. but if you want to get rich quickly then u better strap on a guitar, buy a skateboard and get depressed soon.

Tags: music, entertainment, punk, rock, punkrock, blink182, greenday, goodcharlotte, skateboarding, random

got zit?

incase you were wondering...


oh thats just the NASTIEST image.

Tags: acne, pimple, random

Red, White n Blue

look CAREFULLY. can you spot the difference?

the Dutch flag

the Luxembourgish flag

i mean CMON, doesn't ANYONE else have a problem with this?!

Call me crazy but they're the EXACT. SAME. THING.

Tags: flag, flags, netherlands, luxembourg, red, white, blue, random

babynames.com LIES

for those creatively constipated parents out there who cant manage to come up with a name for their child, there are sites like http://www.babynames.com to ease the burden. Sounds great dosent it? you can choose an exotic name for your kind and know what it means 18 years later when he asks you "why the fuck am i called 'pondababa'?"

me and oleg decided to check it out, these are our findings:

being the resident arab, i looked over the names in the 'arabic' category.

ABDULKAREEM Slave of the generous God Arabic
ya its a name, but its not 'slave'...its more of servant. and i love how a generaous God can keep slaves, sort of like Thomas Jefferson.

HAROUN Lofty Arabic Male
What the hell does 'lofty' mean? ur not helping, guys

JEROEN Holy Man Arabic Male
ok thats just not true

LUKMAN Prophet Arabic Male
neither is that one

NAIF Not available Arabic Male
hahahahahaha more lies and a fucking pointless name if it were true. 'lets name him after the
birth control we used!'

NASSER Triumphant Arabic Male
damn straight

ONSLOW Hill of the Passionate One Arabic Male
hahahahahahahaha i KNOW this is some village in Norway! i know these things! definitely NOT an arabic word, let alone a name

NEN Ancient Waters Arabic Male
it would be a challenge to even write that in arabic! a complete lie!

Now the slavic, with interpretations by oleg:

DAMEK Man of the Earth Slavic Male
polish name, like radek, darek, marek. u cant just 'round up' from polish to slavic, bastards.

OLEG Sacred Slavic Male
dosent he wish

PAVEL Little Slavic Male
in olegs words "if u meet a russian/slavic Pavel...u KNOW he isnt going to be little"

VOVA Strong Leader Slavic Male
tat name makes me giggle

LEL Taker Slavic Male
a complete lie. scandanavian =/= slavic. get your europeans straight.

and speaking of scandanavian.....

DUTCH From the Netherlands Scandinavian Male
hahahahahahaaha

ESBEN God Scandinavian Male
who the fuck do u think u are?

HAMMER A Hammer Scandinavian Male
hahahahaha thanks man, good looking out

KIRK Owned by the church Scandinavian Male
as in the church plaaaaaaaaaaaayed u nigga

LANGER Tall man Scandinavian Male
we should introduce him to pavel

MIKKO Who is like God? Scandinavian Male
hahahaha who needs a philosophical question built in their names?! sounds like a pokemon anyway.

what a lying site. conclusion: think of ur own baby names, or as a REAL arab or serb or whatever. and as for scandinavian, well...dont go there. any more fun names are welcome, lady names to come.

Tags: baby, names, lying, website, empty white room

theyve gone too far

i dont like reality shows.

ok, thats not fair. its not that i dont "like reality shows" per se, its the concept of "hey! lets put this on tv and see if people will watch!" exploitation that really gets to me, the show the biggest loser being a prime example.

now, once again, theyve managed to push the envelope of disease and taken their sick and twisted game to the next level. Marvel at: Who will be America's Next Muppet?

from my understanding (intentionally limited, i want as little to do with this monstrosity as possible), muppets are auditioned a la american idol to see who is best fit to join the muppets 'crew'. a panel of judges (people? muppets? cartoons?) and votes from viewers at home decide whether the dreams of the contestants will be fulfilled, or if they will be sent 'home.' (to a non-sesame street) thats reality television for you, but i have one ailment...

REALITY SHOW => REALITY
REALITY => REAL
MUPPETS ARE NOT REAL

and thats just a fact. dont get me wrong, i grew up on the muppets, i loved muppets, but this is sick. dosent this show bother anyone!?

its gotten to the point where theyll put anything on tv and people will watch it and clap. i blame the public really. the explanation of a suply of anything is the existance of demand for it, basic market economics. so ppl...STOP DEMANDING STUPID SHIT.

oh and by the way, this show is brought to you by the letter F for Fucked Up. have a nice day.

Stuart DOOM

stuart little was on tv one day so i got to thinking...just HOW badass is he?

i understand that it is a kids movie but violence never did any harm. so i was telling ramsey how it would attract more people to watch the movie if stuart was a buffed up mouse with a hot ass ride. he would be kickin all the cats asses and all. he would be THE shit in his neighbourhood/sewer. feared by all cats and loved by all mice. he lives in a human-size family house since he has connections but the family doesnt realize that he is, in fact, a celebrity in the mouse world and constantly try to get rid of him but always get outdone. the whole movie revolves around the story that a gang of killer cats (preferably all black and buff) come to take over the block stuart has worked so hard to keep safe. when stuart hears of the news, he quickly goes out and tries to save his block but finds out that the cats are holding the family hostage and in return for their lives they want his. the rest of the movie is filled with action packed scenes and breathtaking motor-toy car chases. in the end stuart, with his 11 mobster, gangbangin rats, design a plan (much like oceans 11) and take the cats by surprise. the movie ends with stuart saving the family and the family apologizing for being so cruel and welcome him in their home. they live happily ever after, cat free...until the sequel...

now wouldn't YOU watch the movie? i mean CMON! theres action, drama, suspense, violence, love, animals and more! its a great story for die-hard action fans and at the same time its fun for the whole family.

i pitched the idea to ramsey and he came up with the name...if there are any directors out there this is the big break you are looking for. lets make it happen.

tagline: the smallest things can make a difference.


Tags: mice, stuart, action, random, empty

BOO!

YES!

i *know* you like this! ramsey (nasser) this is for you. REMEMBER!? remember when i told you i'd get you back?! THIS.IS.IT! ask me am i genius?

my camera doesnt work so i used my webcam. cheap quality, non the less ...SUCCESS.

i can die a happy man now.

Koopas of the world, unite!

http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/index.html

check it out. first page is pretty good, comic that follows isnt as great.

cruelty to animals

i dont usually give a shit about animal rights, but...

come on. what really bothers me is that someone (from europe...i KNOW hes from europe) actually sat down with a pen and paper or autoCAD or something and designed this stupid shit. look at the dog! hes miserable! its just not right. scoop your own poop man.

creative name btw, and i still dont give a shit

Tags: dog, suffering, what the hell, random, empty white room

Liam

Does anybody else find that name...eerie? I'm sorry. But...I just don't find it attractive. it sounds like an insect, some sort of parasite or a sea snail...Like it's unworthy of William or something. It's half-assed.

Then again my name is Oleg...

Tags: Names, random, Empty White Room

elaphants and 80s funk

I have to be honest oleg...i didnt beleive you at first, so being the inquisitive fellow i am, i checked it out online.


http://www.zoo.org.au/conservation/trunkart.cfm

'trunk art'...thats wrong in every imaginable way. only in australia....

i grew up on dumbo (watched it 167 times, learned to wiggle my ears), so i cant hate elephants. i blame the trainers who make them paint and then take the money from the painitings. theyre not gonna givie it to ellephants, and i know the trainers taking the money and buying sweaters or something...fucking punks

All paintings on display are for sale and proceeds will directly support
elephant conservation programs in Sumatra

lying bastards

speaking of bad things, on the ride home today radio one was playing a 'greatest hits' special or something. what they failed to mention was that it was a 'greatest hits of 1986'...im going to have bad synth and "You're out of sight...you're out of mind" Stuck in my head all day... great

I should probably go... blogging in math class is unheard of...

Tags: Elephant, Art, random, observation

Are They REALLY Worth It?

Tonight My friend, Ramsey (Nasser), and I were talking and I made a comment on how his paintings are worse than elephant paintings. to my amazement he never heard of such a thing so he laughed and gave me an it-can't-be-true-look...well in fact it is true. Elephant paintings do exist. primarily in Asia but they do exist.

What has our world come to? The paintings you see displayed are up to 750$ and there have been paintings sold for 3,000$. How many painters struggle to get ANY kind of recognition? and we have the nerve to ask ourselves why the suicide rate is up! If an animal with a brain the size of a peanut makes more profit than a professional artist, something must be wrong.

I just thought i would raise the debate. But don't get me wrong, i have no personal issues with elephants. I just prefered to watch them in a local zoo or on a Disney cartoon and not becoming millionaires.

I want all the environmentalist who are rioting because of humans mistreating the animals to take a seat for now cuz they don't have a right to be saying anything. We let your elephants make money. They have a SALARY. So i want you as humans (unless there are some elephant or chimp techies hacking in) to really ask yourself...Are those paintings REALLY worth your money? Do you REALLY want that hanging above your grandmothers ashes in your living room?

Get back to me.

Not Relavent

Much like this whole blog, this post is irrelevant.