im good

hey ramsey, wassup man. did you realize how no one really reads the site? hahahahahaha i find it hilarious (i cry at night). BUT, im good with it. i can keep posting...its just for us now...im cool with posting as long as you are...i could have sent you a message on facebook BUT i figured id do it in styyyyyle.

oh and to the reader, the reason you didnt get what you wanted this christmas is cuz i shot santa...the slut didnt wanna come to third world countries. he was flyin over. i popped him. hes on my wall now.

olegs (and ramseys) christmas wishlist

Tis the season to be jolly. Lalalalala lalala la. Now how many kids/people do you know that said lalalalalalalalalalala in the middle of town when they were jolly? Not many no. in fact, none probably. (well unless youre Korean…I don’t know why but it seems like something they would do…read post ‘asians I hate’…)

SO…cut to the chase. Theres no chase sorry, there hasn’t been one since…ever. We fool ourselves…ok. So. I decided to make a Christmas wishlist (no that’s not one word but i do as i please read post ‘return of the king(s)’. Since I don’t get many presents for Christmas (I have no friends/im undeserving) I decided maybe just maybe if I make a wishlist that fat bearded whore will squeeze through my chimney and give me some. Afterall we all need some…ramsey is in Beirut looking for helicopters im in Sydney tryin to be an actor…none of this is very promising people so we try our hand at luck…

Watch us fail…

Oleg’s Christmas Wishlist

1- world peace
2- wings
3- proper pair of underwear
4- death to the first world
5- kiwis (no not new zealand, theyre dead (read # 4). I like to eat kiwis, fruit).
6- a country named after ramsey and me…we are third world kings. Like a country we could throw away. luxembourg (I will never capitalize your first letter).

Ramsey’s Christmas Wishlist

1- he’s muslim, hes immediately disqualified. No fat bearded man for you ramsey (unless his name is mo, in which case its all good).
2- Oh and he wants a girlfriend (wishful thinking that hits him every once in a while…but then he gets over it).

So there you have it. The Christmas wishlist. I know you expected more but in return you just got sheer disappointment. Welcome to EmptyWhiteRoom, god its good to be back. The disappointment never ends. Happy Christmas people. And tell your mom shes fat.

Tags: christmas, christmas shopping, korea, holidays, dissapointment, random.

A War Story

My internet it being funny (not "hahaha Will Farrel is so funny" funny, rather the "[squint with disgust] my closet smells funny" funny), and is not letting me upload images, so I can't give you all a new "beautiful 3rd world" picture...

But don't go away yet! (our web stats say you're probably gone already) Instead, let me enchant you with a story...a story that kicks Homo Potters's ass.

It's something funny that happened during the war.

Before I start, I would like to say that www.reuters.com is the fastest, craziest news site imaginable. I'm serious...go now, there'll be a "Breaking News" post called "Reader follows link on emptywhiteroom.com" They are on the ball.

Just so everyone's clear the war im talking about is the June War, the Sixth War, the Hezballah War, the Israeli Offensive, whatever you want to call it, the shit that went down in the summer. I'm Lebanese and I'm being bombed by Israelis. Does that set the stage? Good. Isn't oversimplification fun?

Ok. So I'm in my house in my mountain village, as a displaced person, right? Its late-ish and my family is talking politics etc etc. All of the sudden, we hear helicopters over head. (the fact that helicopters is plural should identify that they're not Lebanese)

takatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakataka

The thing about helicopters is no matter how loud they are (the sounded like they were going to land on my roof, I fucking made them tea just in case), you never see SHIT. Very scary...Anyway, they were passing through, I guessed to the Bekka Valley (which makes sense geographically, since my village is between the sea and the valley, and militarily since the Bekka is one of Hezballah's strongholds), and to be sure I wired up my completely SHIT internet connection and hoped for a dial tone. When I got one I checked reuters.com. Sure enough...

Israeli Commandos Attempt Landing in Lebanon's Bekka Valley

"Shit is about to get crazy in the Bekka," I thought to myself. The Hezb isn't too big on defeat, and the Israelis are dropping HUMMERS FROM THE SKY. But what can you do? I poured myself a glass of milk and returned to my family.

After an hour of silence, we hear much much more helicopters.

TAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKA

They shook the fucking windows of our house. It woke up whoever was sleeping and we all rushed to the roof try, in vain, to see them. They were moving in the same direction as the last few, but in a much bigger number.

I sprint to computer and reuters.com to see what's going down. A few lines down from the first story was the new one.

Israeli Commandos Conduct Evacuation After Failed Bekka Landing

Invincible army my ass. Fly home motherfuckers! 3rd world wins again!

tags: war, lebanon, israel, helicopter, reuters

Return of the King(s)

Despite the rumors that I had been killed fighting in the war, despite the papers reporting that Oleg was slain avenging the Great Steve Irwin down under, despite the filthy lies that we had both "grown up," despite all this lunacy, here we are.

I suppose you want a quick status update. Well, Oleg is still studying acting, and I am well on my way to becoming a professional computer geek (shut up, i make more money than your dad). My picture remains posted on the wikipedia article for single, requiring me to buy faster and faster internet to keep up with my......needs.

What do we have in store for you, our (most probably unemployed) reader? More beautiful 3rd world pictures, more reviews of the universe, and much much less useful content.

Remember, this room is as White as it is Empty

back in business

yes thats right. back in business like t-rex and the gang. what you mean you dont know t-rex? reader please!

well its not about damn t rex. ramsey and i are back, thats right back in the bloggin' game. i think by now we lost all our half-regular readers SO chances are no one really gives a shit cuz you reading this is probably a techie geek surfin through blogs (cuz thats all you do for fun) and you just happen to come across this one, well if youre readin this...please stay. enjoy our pointless blog and boost our statcounter.com and comment every once in a while, show us that you care. and if not...

your mother is fat.

read our blog. ramsey and oleg are back in business.

asians i hate

im sitting in an internet cafe with a bunch of asian motherfuckers screaming. if you ever wanna get stressed out of your face visit a place of asian neeeerds.

why are they screaming? cuz theyre playing warcraft. or some shit. its not even screaming its squealing.

i hate so many things...this is one of them...

(one guy just said 'no money! nooooo moneeeeeeeeeee! wa! no moneeeee!' (whats wrong with you man!??!?!))

i love the universe sometimes

my sister got this email that went by the subject of STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL/URGENT ASSISTANCE NEEDED. yeeeeeh. i thought i would post it because...oh well. just to waste your valuable time and perhaps entertain you...or not whatever. i could comment on this email but... whatever...

sometimes the universe brings great things to our lives...

Dear Friend,

               Confidencial and top secret
I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise. I am the bill and exchange manager in Bank of Africa. I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that i am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.

We need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $11.3million immediately to your account.The money has been dormant for may years in our Bank here without any body coming for it.

We want to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer(the owner of the account)who died a long with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since July 2000.

We don't want the money to go into our Bank treasury as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why i contacted you, so that my bank will release the money to you as the nearest person to the deceased cutomer.

Please we would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you are not interested.

Upon receipt of your reply, i will send you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 25% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to transact the business with us.

MR TAREK OMARBank Of Africa,Burkina Faso-West Africa


im sorry i must laugh at BANK OF AFRICA

....

hahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahaahahahaahahahahaahahaha

tags: internet, entertainment, banking, junk, random

the (not so) beautiful 1st world #2

its not cigarette BUDS?

no?

-sydney, australia

menaked.jpg

my girlfriend sent me this picture

love at first sight people

from an embattled lebanon

this is bull shit.

this site is funny and lighthearted most of the time, but im going to get serious for a moment. my country is under attack with me inside it, and this is what i have to say.

i dont know what western media is saying, and frankly i dont care. probably all lies anyway, but here are the facts on the ground, no media no nothing. i live here and im seeing this with my own eyes.

hezballah captured two soldiers in israeli territory. not cool, i (and a lot banon) completley disagree with what hezballah did and would not blame israel for clashing with hezballah to return the soldiers. but...

israel is bombing my country into dust. children have nothing to eat. innocent people are dying. cnn wont tell/show you this, but its all true. i hear the planes over head, i see the bombs fall and the people scatter. we left our house in beirut and headed, quite litterally, for the hills to be safer. i am now a displaced person. how, is all i ask, does this help israel get its two soldiers back? i guess the fact that i cant see my friends or go to school victory in the war on terrorsim. and the airport. lebanon's only civilian airport is being bombed out of existence. and for what? anyone who beleives the excuse that israel doesnt want the hostages flown our of lebanon is blind beyond hope. theyve knocked out bridges, our light house, all our ports, hit people's houses directly, bombed convoys of escaping cars, and crippled lebanon's economy as much as possible. war on terror? resolution 1559? two soldiers? which noble mission does this help?

another interesting point. till now, 5 days into this self defence mission, not a single hezballah military target has been hit. not one. and israel knows more about hezballah's positions than hezballah does. so why start with the bridges and the peoples houses before you bomb the people who are bombing you?

hezballah bombing northern israel: not cool. very wrong and deplorable. i always hold that any attack on civilians is terrorism. but compare the damage done to haifa to the damage done to lebanon. measured response? self defence? these words are loosing meaning...

israel and america seem to have a united front against and speak with one voice when it comes to hezballah. they say that hezballah means to destroy lebanon and that israel will save it from the hezb's grips. wow. i actualy heard a guy say this on tv. israel, the people who made it sport to hunt my countrymen and torture them inhumanely, are here to save us? i am not pro-hezballah in anyway, but the opinion that israel actually cares about human life is laughable to anyone who has seen their operations with their own eyes.

i call on any pro-israeli to contact me through email at aladameh@gmail.com or to comment on this site with his answers to these questions. i dont want to argue, i dont want to shout at you. there are bombs falling over my head and i simply want to know how people can see that as justified. help me understand you.

http://epetitions.net/julywar/index.php sign it. it probably wont do anything, but its a message.

we worked so hard for so long to rebuild this country after the war. so hard. and the zionist war machine is working to erase it all. thank you UN for your balanced world view. thank you america for all the support you give our democracy loving neighbours. thank you syria and iran for fighting a war on our land. thank you hezballah for lettingall of lebanon down. and finnaly, thank you israel for your continued regard to human life, un resolutions and and general boyish charm that makes zionism such a loveable line of thought.

pray for lebanon.

oleg, tag this for me, i dont have time.

Tag: lebanon, israel,hezbollah, bush, terrorism, iran, syria, war, bullshit, random.

yanyans and stag beetles

yanyan...oh yes. what makes the third world beautiful. we have these in the third world, they are perfectly engineered and a little complicated so try to stay with me...

bread stick. chocolate dip. take bread stick and dip in chocolate. eat and experience heaven.

do you need anything else in life? not really no.

so now you are introduced to the yanyan.

stag beetle...not many of us know what it is.

The stag beetles are a group of about 1,200 species of beetle in the family Lucanidae, the most well-known species being Lucanus cervus, a large beetle found in much of Europe. Some species grow to 8 cm (3.25 in), but usually they are about 5 cm (2 in).

thank you wikipedia, youre a life saver.

ok now you know the two, but why oleg? the two have nothing to do with each other...

pateince my fellows (you can say fellows right? like 'my fellow left me' 'me and my fellow built a jet' i can use it like friends or chaps? i still prefer fellows to chaps)

the reason this isnt another 'the beautiful 3rd world' is because i found (not discovered) the yanyan in a chinese store in sydney. but the ones in sydney are upgraded, yanyan 2.0 for your ass... on each bread stick there is a phrase. possibly a chinese proverb and it all includes animals but the only problem is theyre written in english...

stag beetle love it

go for more panda

dont be timid mouse

snail snail mail?

chick favourite color: yellow


(excuse the horid breadsticks drawings)

the proverbs dont quiet work, no. i just laugh so much everytime i eat them, just thought i would share this loveliness with you. but despite all the dumbass proverbs i still stag beetle love it

love iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Were Back! A Dinosaur's Story

thats sort of a lie.

while its true that me and oleg are back, it is not, in fact, a dinosaur's story...even though that would be interesting. (oleg would be the goofy mother fucker on the left, and id be the badass flying. dont let him tell you different)

so,

quick summary of events? ive left engineering school = more time to self = more downloading porn + posting on emptywhiteroom = yay. oleg, back in his native siberia (coach...its serbia), now has internet = he can post too = he can carry my lazy ass when i forget to update this bitch = yay. thats two yay's people. count them. thats more than any "real" site would ever give you.

expect great things to come. or don't. either way, were back and its on. long live the 3rd world.

the beautiful 3rd world pt.4

this is fuckin great. i got no comment.

- Sri Lanka

(give props to my man Ass, thanks for the hook up homie. KraKalaKsmaK)

shitalia

In the spirit of the World Cup and in the spirit of Italy’s win I decided to shit on them. Where else would you get that but here?

I was actually for them cuz I cant stand france BUT still I shall sit on them and let lose, why? Cuz I can. Just remember you heard it here first on EmptyWhiteRoom…

Ok this is for all the girlies who supported Italy because they have ‘cute guys’ and whatever, I’m here to convince you otherwise…

Tomassi

What can I say? Looks like a fuckin hobo. There’s nothing wrong with a haircut homie. You can have GOOD afros, this shits possible BUT ONLY WITH BLACK PEOPLE TOMASSI you slut. And something about his beard disturbs me…maybe cuz it looks dirty or SHITTY and with his hair he truly looks homeless.

Pessoto

His head isn’t in proportion with his body. Looks like Davey (ramsey you know what im talking about). Looks more scandanavian than anything, really. Looks like a … ljundstrom or some shit. The fact that he has a haircut suggests that he isn’t Italian BUT he very much is. He also injured himself cuz he fell out of a window…this guy beats the hobo.

Samuel

Looks Albanian. The godamned fringe is NOT FLY HOMIE, its anything but. Your blue eyes can only do so much. Looks like a damn refugee, some sort of foreigner, some orphan who played football on the streets his whole life, dropped out of the 4th grade and became a Cinderella story. THERES NOTHING CINDERELLA ABOUT YOUR LOOKS HOMIE, YOU MIGHT, JUST MIGHT, RESEMBLE THE FAT MOUSE CINDERELLA FOUND ‘CUTE’ BUT THAT’S AS FAR AS YOU GO. This is a pity cute, that doesn’t count.

Vieri

Ok. we all know this guy but LOOK AT HIM. big chin. big nose. big hair. youre so filthy. looks like a cheap hollywood attempt to portay a slav terrorist…'mmmm I wanna put some Chinese letters on my arm…and oh, an ARROW would be good too. And add some tribal while you at it, a friend told me it looks good. While you do that I will BATHE IN JELL AND SLICK MY FILTHY HAIR’ you goatfuck.

Zola

Hahahahahahaahahahahaha what an ugly bitch. Head is supersized. Chin is jay leno. Hair (off course) voluptuous. Looks like the fuckin original Hulk. i don’t have much comment on him, you decide…

Peruzzi

You fat bitch. I love this guy but hes an ugly bitch. And don’t give me the ‘hes a cuddly bear’ shit cuz that shit just means hes a FATTY. Goalie my ass. He just stands in front of the goal and POSSIBLY roll every once in a while to get the ball. Fatman.

Well there you have it, I hope I shined (shone? I don’t know my English) some light your way. Firstly, cute doesn’t work/matter in sport. Secondly, theyre all filthy (and may I add 3 feet tall). Thirdly, don’t let long hair fool you, theyre just hiding their zits and UGLY.

Ladies…short, buff-legged, slimey men with bad hair shouldn’t be turn ons.

(oh shit I just realized I described Ramsey in my last sentence…my argument is accurate)

Tags: /world cup/, italy, football, champions, random

my sister for president

hey motherfuckers!

my sister opened up a site VISIT IT

http://www.sanjaforpresident.splinder.com

this one is in italian.

http://www.sanjapresidente.splinder.com

this is the english version.

its a good personal sort of blog that is also for the reader. it is just starting up but is ONLY gonna get better.

GO NOW MOTHERFUCKERS

the (not so) beautiful 1st world

mcdonalds ........ check

KFC .................. check

pizza hut .......... check

dominos ........... check

subway ............ check

burger king ...



this is no lie my lovely readers. hungry jacks is the australian version of burger king. why make your life hard? just call it what it is... i dont get it but i know i feel cheated... if this was the third world theyd think of some better name surely...

koruption king

hungry arabs

Zar of burgers

avtomat kalashnikova king

machete burgers

pirate king

terrorist monarchy

wedontgiveafuck burgers

no pork please burgers

... and shit like that...

/fast food/, /burger king/, restaurants, australia, random

no comment

ramsey man!
cant believe your ass hasnt posted yet!

filthy ass arab

i heart steve

as many of you may or may not know i am soon going to be attending college in sydney, australia. tonight (technically tomorrow morning 1am) i am flying to sydney. i am just writing this post to let you all (my dear readers) know that for a while i will not be posting since i will be settling in my new place of residence. i am also informing/alerting you that this means you will only have to rely on ramsey posting...basically what i am trying to say is that you shouldnt give up on our site just yet but you should come back maybe in 2-3 weeks and check, who knows maybe you will be pleasantly surpised by a ramsey post.

then again you might not.

im also writing this post just to tell all my friends that i love all you guys so much and that hopefully i will see you all in the near future. everybody from poland to beirut i love you all. i am starting a new life and admitingly i am scared but thats how it is. to all our readers (basically our loser high school friends and my sisters) thank you all for reading our worthless posts and actually commenting. although your comments were just as worthless as the posts i still thank you all. ramsey...we're genius and we're getting that show real soon. we have to start somewhere and this site is it. oh and every once in a while try and post man. and not like put up one picture and not say shit (for an example see post 'owl') but actually put some effort into it.

once again thank you all for visiting this site and exceeding mine and ramsey's expectations for how well it is doing...i dont think the last sentence was grammatically correct but blogger doesnt have grammar check so i could give a fuck-less.

i am moving to australia now. after living most of my life in the middle east a part of me will always be there, i will always have a soft spot for it. in a way we will always be one...ok im not that cheezy but seriously i just want to say thank you all for the good (and the bad) times especially in beirut. i made many many friends there who i know i will keep in touch with. the real world is the third world. thank you for everything.

im off to my new life now...

third world. i salute you.

strike any key to continue...

what a king.

owl

i love the internet

squinting with disgust

thats me:
reading the math jokes.
reading ramseys posts.
watching curling.
discovering ear candeling.
looking at sloths.
...just looking at the universe...

math jokes

-Math and Alcohol don't mix, so... PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE

-Q:What is a dilemma?
A: A lemma that proves two results.

-Q: What's nonorientable and lives in the sea?
A: Moebius Dick.

-Q: What is the area of a circle?
A: pi R^2?
R: Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.

-Q: What's a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

-Was General Calculus a Roman war hero?

-"What's your favorite thing about mathematics?" "Knot theory." "Yeah, me neither."

-A geometer went to the beach to catch the rays and became a TanGent.

math jokes are never funny.
they make me squint with disgust.

alive and punching

hello friends and otherwise

although you probably didnt miss me, im back and confirming that i am not dead (whos pissing on dreams now, oleg?) ive simply been knee deep in engineering shit for the past while...turns out this shits hard...

i saw this in mechanics class the other day. we were studying tension (T) applied at an angle, on a cable called 'a'. so the professor called the tension ...nothing too wild here.

then, to calculate the horizontal component, he multiplied by the cosine of the angle. makes sense, right?

my friend leaned over and whispered 'Hey, Tacos.'

i laughed at finding mexican food in mechanics calculations, and i cried at how sad my life has become...

jumpin' jack

what a stupendous name.

i know a jack didnt create it. i just know this. some loser gym teacher thought it was smart how the J in jumpin is the same as the J in jack.

genius befalls us ladies and gentlemen.

thats just not cool

hes not a mule people! leave him alooooone!

are you giving him a piercing?! cuz i swear thats not sexy!

...the worse fuckin fashion tips...

oh my stomach feels heavy.

oh im gonna cry...

(he'll have a tough ass time thru airport security tho)

wild sweepin'

The winter Olympics are underway so in that spirit I decided to piss on a winter sport. Why? Cuz piss-stained ice looks funny.

I introduce to you…

CURLING

This activity (I refuse to call it a sport) includes marbles, mops and a bunch of Scandinavians. The purpose of this “sport” is to put as many stones as you can in the middle of a circle drawn on ice.

How thrilling.

This event includes mental stability, precision and athleticism I LIED THERE ARE ZERO ATHLETES. If you call marbles sliding on ice an exercise then you are an obese individual.

Don’t question your vision. Don’t call the local operator, for you see right; Those are actual grown men sweeping. Its part of the “sport.” They are the sweepers, they sweep the path the stone goes along to lower the friction between ice and stone so it could go faster. Why doesn’t the thrower just throw the stone faster? Cuz men need an excuse to mop the floor.

Fuckin sport my ass.

When ones asked about ones profession does one proudly say sweeper? i SWEEP for a living, but no. I am nor Indian nor a maid but hey! I like to fuckin sweep floors and air it on tv and trick everyone into thinking it’s a sport.

im an athlete.

YOURE A LIAR!

Its nothing to be proud of. You don’t tell your son his daddys a sweeper. You don’t have ‘proud to be sweepin’ bumper stickers on your cars (unless youre Canadian). ‘oh sorry honey cant wash the dishes tonight, im sweepin tomorrow’ u cant do that! they might as well create Extreme Ironing. You iron in the air, under water and on any possible terrain you can imagine! and youre disqualified if you mom does it for you.

I hate the universe.

An average game of curling lasts about 2:30 hours. Whyyyyyyy would you pay money to watch marbles slide across ice for 3 hours?! Whyyyyyy would you pay money to watch grown ass men sweep that ice?!...for three hours. For those three hours I can make booger art on a wall. And whoever invented this sport, it is my desire to proclaim you dead.

Oh and if you use foul language the commission suspends you.

?!?!?!

Whats a sport without a little language!?!?! Golf. And now curling.

Curling. CURLING. Where do you curl? in what part of the sport does ‘curling’ occur? I understand basketball, u have a ball and a hoop that resembles a basket. Football, u have a ball and u strike it with your foot. ITS SELF EXPLANATORY. Curling, you curl…things. NO U DONT. u let things sliiiiiide then wipe the floor…like a little bitch.

Visit curlingbasics.com they show you animations of how curling is played.

How exhilarating.

I don’t like the universe much.

Tags: olympics, /winter olympics/, sweeping, sports, random

St. Valentines Day Massacre

ramsey is single.

im single.

......

its a stupid holiday anyway

oh yes

the Yugo is a serbian manufactured vehicle. its a fiat but not. its made by Zastava (meaning flag) which is another serbian vehicle manufacturing company except they also build weapons.

badass

i was gonna make this another ‘the beautiful 3rd world’ but im violently proud of these products.

oh but yes ramsey i know you desire it.

you dream it.

Tags: yugo, zastava, cars, F1, speed, random

EWR Breaking News: Mohammed Cartoon

TEHRAN - Fon, the Muslim cartoon, was surprisingly found attending the super bowl last week. when asked about this he said “Web 2.0 is the way to go.” Officials later confirmed that Fon was indeed on a drug called Jyllands-posten Mohammed which is known for its side effects: brain damage and Muslim riots.

Fon’s associate in the cartoon business, Krugle, was reached for comment:

“it’s a true tragedy what happened to my friend Fon. We all knew he was struggling but never did it occur to us that he was on such a drug. I will pray for him and the 30 boxes he owns” he later added, “yaba daba doo!” then rapidly ran off.

Much to our surprise Fon had been taking this drug for many years now and has developed a new best friend who goes by the name of John Tierney, experts say that this friend is no doubt imaginary. According to Gabriela Monteiro “ a lethal chemical substance called cocomment in the drug caused Fon to go schizophrenic.” She then added “du bist Deutschland” and crashed a Danish embassy.

John Tierney could not be reached for comment.

The Blogger Committee of the International School held a conference through Gmail Chat and pointed all the blame at NSA (National Syringe Association) for allowing this lethal drug to spread in the streets. When reached for comment the NSA calmly stated that “Rolling Stones…like…nipples…sometimes…”

Blogger did not know what to make of this.

Seeing as Heise, the annual ritual for urine, is in a couple of days, questions arise: will Fon attend it? Will he give us another surprise? Will he draw Mohammed Cartoons? Will he make a demo tape?

Only time will tell.

- You heard it here first from Empty White Room

Tags: Islam, web2.0, Bush, Gmail, Cartoons, Fon, random

junk mail?

YA? GREAT!

i have nothing to fucking say

beautiful 3rd world #3

theres a mall in beirut called ABC Achrafieh...some of it is underground and has a glass ceiling (at ground level), and at ground level the mall continues and u can look down on the lower levels through the glass...u get what i mean? ya good. i saw this today:

Its a man. on the phone. on the glass ceiling. ~150m from the ground. and when he finished his conversation, he just stepped off and continued on his merry way.

like, why man?

i love this country

-Beirut, Lebanon

P.S.* and to all our brothers and sisters in the 3rd world, send any beautiful 3rd world pictures to aladameh@gmail.com and if theyre worth out time well post them. take the pictures urself, anyone can google "funny picture bosnia", so fuck you. and they must be from the 3rd world, so none of that western europe crap. 1st world just isnt that beautiful...so which countries are cool? if ur in the 3rd world, u know ur in the 3rd world. use ur heads and asses, figure it out. enjoy this task.

* P.S., n a Pointy Scrotum.

the beautiful 3rd world pt.2

i took this picture on my phone while i was in the elevator in Belgrade's international airport.
god i love my country.

'SPRAT' : FLOOR

Belgrade, Serbia

thats it

christians, jews, muslims, most major religions have described some kind of 'end of the world' or judgement day or whatever. u know, wrath of God, dead rising, antichrist...shit really hitting the fan. being the bored species we are, many have tried to predict this demise in one way or another. remember the people holed up in bunkers on January 1, 2000 waiting for the world to implode? hahaha stupid fuckers...

one more bit of background information: those of you who have been reading this blog for a while (basically me) would have noticed that im not a particularly angry person. thats oleg. im usually calm and resolved and not to get too angry, u know? lifes good.

this was an exception.

this was bad. a very very bad thing.

i found...

HICK HOP

why.

just why, thats all i want to know.

i want to know WHY the fuck this exists.

WHY IS THIS LEGAL?! HOW CAN THEY LET PEOPLE PUBLISH THIS KIND OF ITEM AND THEN PUT IT IN STORES FOR GOOD MEN AND WOMEN TO PURCHASE?!?!?!?!!?!?!? I DONT EVEN WANT TO IMAGINE THEM *LISTENING* TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!

im better.

what is 'Hick Hop,' you may ask? well, other than HELL'S INFLAMED NIPPLES ON A CD, its supposed to be a blend of country music with rap. country rap. crap. coincidence? you decide.

they rap about hick-topics, like racing against trains and impregnating sisters. NOT wholesome stuff. they play country instruments, like the banjo and that stooopid ass jug that you blow into (you know what i mean) to hip-hop beats. sound bad? STOP TRYING, YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF IMAGINIG.

thats it. game over. the world is ending. no im serious, stop laughing, im not being cute. the world is coming to and end. if youre a believer, repent ur sins. if ur not, convert. stop smiling, im building a bunker.

the 'leader' of this GODLESS revolution is a gentleman named 'Cowboy Troy.'




I LIED TO YOU HE IS NEITHER GENTLE NOR A MAN I HATE HIM SO.
they ran out of things to say in songs along time ago (it was inevitable, ive done the math), so recently its been all "my car is so P-I-M-P-E-D" or "my chick is so H-O-T" or "i miss you so M-U-C-H" or some generic shit. fine. ive adapted. but now they're running out of ways to sing shitty lyrics?!!? they have to start mixing and matching genres to get their phallic* ideas out?!?!?! whats next? death metal/reggae? church gospel/trance? electro-funk/polka?? these are not good ideas.

i make it a policy of my life never to comment/judge/stroke/evaluate anything without firsthand knowledge of it. so i decided to visit Commander Troy's website. i am a doomed man.

http://www.cowboytroy.com/

abandon all hope, yee who enter there.

wow.

i really have zero hope in mankind. i always had very very little, ESPECIALLY with the shit we run into and publish on this site (ear candling?!?! come the fuck on...) but this is it. this is the straw that broke the camels back. its more of a sledgehammer, actually, that brutally destroyed the camel and his friends and colleagues. the world is ending. youll see.

oleg wanted me to mention that hes emotionally torn apart by the idea of hick hop. so i mentioned it.

stupid ass troy. ruined a perfectly good movie. fucker.


*phallic: adj, of or relating to the penis.

Tags: Entertainment (what a lie), Music, armageddon, troy

oh the horror!

OH NO!

BUT OH NOOOOOO!

(i know the indian man is second guessing god's plan right about now)

Chuck for President

i got thee funniest site for you. i read this last night and i laughed out loud. out LOOOUUUD. i dont do that too often. the site is all about chuck norris. hahahahahahaha. sorry. it lists facts for why chuck is the biggest badass the world has ever seen. now as unappealing as that sounds just trust me, go check it out and if u dont like the first page then leave and never visit our site again...matter of fact i offer my ass to you. but trust me, you wont regret it.

here are some of the facts...enjoy...


- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

- Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is

- Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/index.html

what a king

(give props to my man Ass, thanks for the hook up dawg. KraKalaKsmaK)

Tags: /chuck norris/, facts, God, badass, entertainment, film, roundhouse, orange, random

Empty White Room Breaking News

BEIRUT - It has been reported that Keso the Whale, the first whale to learn calculus, has opened an mp3 player factory in the mountains of Klowand, Iran. This new mp3 player, dubbed "Sundance," is meant to rival the iPod in every way possible, including the iPods famous juice maker.

When asked to comment, Keso only said "du bist deutschland," much to our suprise.

The inovator of many things, Keso the Whale is most known for his profecieny in both calculus and german, not to mention his smash hit books "googling past the graveyard using firefox" and "The Apple: Why does it give us gas?"...books that many of us keep under our pillows when we sleep.

Top iPod analysts Chris Matthews and Bin Laden said "...if sundance does well, this could be the grindstone weve all been waiting for!" Matthews then promptly took off his pants and began to cry.

Jack Bauer, a noted biolinguist, was not as optomistic. "...ill sand paper my nipples off...and cement my dick to my foot if keso has his way..." he later added "...I...like...men...alot..." John Tierney said "Bloggies!"

If this is whats to come, there may be no hope for mankind. Our prayers and pants are with you. -EWR

You heard it first from empty white room...

Tags: Iran, mp3, iPod, Weblog, News, random, Canada

brb

hahahaha what bad graphics

Tags: baby, Internet, chat, random

*N Sync

yes
DOES THAT STAND FOR 'IN SYNCHRONIZATION'!??!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS??!?!?!!

like does it refer to their dance moves? are they 'in the groove' with teens? are they down with life? WHAT ARE YOU SYNCHRONIZED WITH, PLEASE HELP ME!

and that ridiculous star. DO YOU ALSO PUT A SMILEY FACE ON YOUR I's?!??!!?!

I DONT LIKE THEM.

(blonde motherfucker is the scariest. looks like he wants to bite me on the ass.)

Tags: nsync, pop, music, boys, entertainment, television, random

Ear Candling

why is the kid seem so happy?! she seems almost aroused...

ear candling...aaah what can i say. its, among other things, depressing. they burn one end of the candle sitck and your ear wax softens and oozes out. what troubles me more than this irregular past-time activity is that the little kid filled the whole motherfuckin plate. your kid's diseased, mom. look at that plate, its half full!

Tags: ears, candles, wax, random

a nationality orgy

Now, im not a racist. I never was. I moved around my whole life ive lived in Bahrain, Kuwait, Poland, Lebanon, Italy, Serbia and now in Iran. If I wanted to I couldn’t be racist, I cant discriminate cuz of the cultures I have seen in my life which is WHY i am justified to write this post.

Have you ever watched a sport and noticed that the person did not match the nationality he/she was representing? Lets say a Lee played for Trinidad and Tobago or something. Yanno? It just doesn’t make any sense and I have never been a fan of this. I don’t know, call it what you like but I have simply never been a fan. If I see a fellow slav playing for Australia (or any other first world country) it saddens me. Theres something about it I cant quiet put my finger on…

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Zlah-tan Eebra-heem-ovich) – Swedish Football National Team

OH NO! but many oh no’s! this one, in particular, is a painful one. Let me explain why…zlato means gold in serbian. Zlatno means golden (referring to objects) in serbian. Zlatan means golden (referring to persons) in Serbian. THE MANS NAME MEANS GOLDEN! Hes gooooolden, not Swedish but zlaaaaaatan. Now if your last name contains a Muslim name then you are, in fact, muslim. if your last name ends in “vic” you are a slav… Ibrahim – vic … Ibrahimovic… A MUSLIM SLAV. which can only mean one thing: HE IS A MUSLIM BOSNIAN. That’s it. Theres nothing more to it. Zlatan is a farm boy from Bosnia. Any debates? Didn’t think so because what I say is factual. Now if youre STILL not convinced…BLACK HAIR, DARK EYEBROWS AND BROWN EYES ISNT EXACTLY SWEDISH MATERIAL.

Khalid Khannouchi (Khah-led Khan-oo-shee) – USA running team

Yeah? You like fuckin with my head? Yeh, youre good? Gooood. Cuz khannouchi is NEVER American. I understand that America is thee land of immigrants but I suggest you guys stick to the dantes and alfontes (and any other black name you prefer) to be on your running teams. Firstly, they look better in tights, secondly theyre American. They are. Theyre African-American, their ancestors came to the land, not in great conditions, but they made roots there. But Khannouchi came to America and he IS the roots, yanno what im sayin? The African slaves wouldn’t be able to run for America cuz they were just too fresh. Maybe his childrens childrens children can but you, khanouch, MAY NEVER. And cmon, khalid, homie, what u doin there man? Come back here to the middle east, represent us man. We have good (if not better) grounds for you to run on. You like long distances? Run to iraq n back, visit your American homies there. And the turf will be a REAL test, dodging bombs n shit, that’ll prepare the shit out of you. i KNOW you miss the shawarmas n the poverty, im certain.

Jon Robert Holden – Russian National Basketball Team

The black man above is a Russian. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. oh MAN, what a Russian! I didn’t know Russia had hoods, shit. Cmooooon, now you must agree with me on this one. cmon. somehow i just dont see a hammer n sickle next to his picture. Hes jonny from around the block. 15 years ago he would have been in the RED basketball team, how amusing would that have been? Hes not the Vladimir Vlatchkov or the Ivan Pavlov you would expect. Hes a Russian Dominique. Hahahaha. Sorry, I must laugh at this. He cant make it in the US of A so he goes to Vladimir Putin (what a Russian) and asks for a passport. His homies are like “aaaw J Dawg! Sup man?! U aint representin’ u aint even have a rap album out, u aint even gettin your eagle on. Aw damn homie, J Rob gon get it.” Well atleast he’s not playin for money right?! This is the only case where a first worlder came to the third …on his own will. And besides, holden you cant be on the damn Russian team, youz a nnnnnnn….aw I aint gona say it (check first sentence of first paragraph). But I know you all are thinkin it.

PEOPLE! Dammit, stop being so godamn confused. You cant change where you come from. By lookin at your last name we know what house from what village from what country you come from, its just the way it is, theres no bullshittin here. Zlatko, go back to BiH and play for their shitty ass team man, money aint everythin. Khannouchi, go back to whatever third world country your ass hails from (morocco) and live in harmony n terrorism, it’s the only way. And holden, maaaan go back to your homies. They miss you dawg, go kiss the baby mama, roll the trees n run from the hip hop police, shit who knows u might even get that album deal.

Damn, I hate you motherfuckers.

Potential war starters:

Nx M’baye - Hungary

O’connor - Indonesia

Gupta - Mexico

Livingston - Vietnam


Tags: ibrahimovic, khannouchi, holden, confusion, sports, nationality, random

aah, good times

YEAH!

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT!

WOOOW!

OKAY!

WOOOW!

YES!

WOOOW!

GOOD STUFF!

WOOOW!

PARTAYE!

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT!

WOOOW!

DESIGN A JET!

WOOOW!

HEAT IT UP!

WOOOW!

TREMENDOUS HAIR!

WOOOW!

THIGHS N FEET!

WOOOW!

PARTY IN HERE!

WOOOW!

ON THE NINTH FLOOR!

WOOOW!

WHERE’S THE PARTY?

WOOOW!

PARTY’S HERE!

WOOOW!

CORRECT!

WOOOW!

AFFIRMATIVE!

WOOOW!

ITS 8 O’ CLOCK

WOOOW!

WAAA, THE NIGHTS YOUNG!

WOOOW!

GET THE TRUMPET!

WOOOW!

GET THE ACCORDION!

WOOOW!

GET THE GUITAR!

WOOOW!

YOUZ A HOOOOO!

WOOOW!

NOW IS THE TIME!

WOOOW!

TO UNITE!

WOOOW!

TO DRINK SPRITE!

WOOOW!

HUSSEINS NOT BRIGHT!

WOOOW!

EAT TURKISH DELIGHTS!

WOOOW!

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT!

WOOOW!

NUNS ARE TIGHT!

WOOOW!

PISS ON RAMSEYS SITE!

WOOOW!

YOURE FUNNY RIGHT!?

WOOOW!

BLACK OR WHITE!

WOOOW!

IS THE LIGHT VIOLET?!

WOOOW!

IS IT FUCHIA?!

WOOOW!

NO, ITS RED!

WOOOW!

BUT ROXANNE

WOOOW!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO!

WOOOW!

IF YOU DON’T WANT TO!

WOOOW!

UNLESS ITS YOUR DESIRE!

WOOOW!

IF YOU WISH IT!

WOOOW!

THEN THAT’S COOL!

WOOOW!

I GUESS!

WOOOW!

HIP MOVEMENT!

WOOOW!

IT’S A MANS WORLD!

WOOOW!

GEORGIA!

WOOOW!

GEORGIAAAA!

WOOOW!

ITS NEW, YOU LIKE?!

WOOOW!

YOU DON’T LIKE IT?

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT THEN!

WOOOW!

YEAH!

WOOOW!

PARTAYE!

WOOOW!

You gonna keep doin that?

WOOOW!

You good?

WOOOW!

Yeah?

WOOOW!

Not gonna say anything else?

WOOOW!

I got the whole dictionary?

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT!

WOOOW!

GOOD STUFF!

WOOOW!

UNCANNY!

WOOOW!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We’re so single…

Aggressive Charity

I saw this donation box outside a supermarket in dubai

"YOUR PITY IS NOT ENOUGH"

muslims really know how to ask for money. what an intimidating fucking box. tell me you wouldnt put $100 in there, just out of fear. good stuff.

horrible

fuck

i shaved my beard off...i didnt mean to...my hand slipped...im so depressed...


this is the third time this has happened. im such a retard...

Tags: Life, depression, beard, random, Weblog

1. Be a better person

As many of you may or may not know people of the Orthodox religion celebrate christmas according to the old calendar (don’t ask me, i don’t know which one theyre referring to) so the dates are kinda different than what youre normally used to; 7th january: Christmas, 14th january: new years. Now, I am not a religious type-a guy but Im a serb so I celebrate christmas on the 7th (today) so before I go on with this post i want to wish a merry christmas to all the people of the world, no matter what religion you are. May your wishes come true.

Moving along…I realized that many people were posting their new years resolutions and since my new years (technically) is in a week and since yours was last week and since ramsey is a muslim (therefore, it doesn’t really matter) im gonna go ahead and post some resolutions that me n my friend set for ourselves and this pointless site. The trick with resolutions is that they don’t come true, its not a wish. Wishes you wish for n it may or may not come true while a resolution is a personal goal and you have to work for it hence it never working.

Our resolutions go a little somethin like this:

Oleg's Resolutions:

1. Be a better person

2. Get good grades

3. Make the hairs on my goatie actually connect

4. Learn to ride a pony

5. Become steve irwin’s right hand man

6. Star on "Water Rats"

7. Learn the Way of the samurai

8. Stop pissing on Ramsey’s dreams

9. Give birth

10. Learn to play the accordion

11. Become a gypsy

13. Kick a baby

14. Develop an Australian accent

Nasser’s Resolutions:

1. Be a better person

2. Learn Salsa

3. Wear more pants

4. Grow a few inches

5. Develop a gap in the middle of his unibrow

6. Grow hair on his feet

7. Grow a normal wrist

8. Stop being stupid

9. Get a girlfriend (hahahahahahahahahahahaha)

10. Lose his virginity (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

11. Learn the way of the jedi

12. Become tom cruise’s right hand man

13. Realize coldplay is gay (i mean it rhymes)

14. Make Oleg like him

Emptywhiteroom Resolutions:

1. Become better people

2. Hate things less

3. Swear less

4. Stop believing that anything that rhymes is cool (it aint no thang but a chicken wang)

5. Post posts that make sense

6. Develop a meaning for this site

7. Ramsey posting regularly

8. Ramsey contributing to this site

9. Ramsey realizing that Oleg is his guardian angel

10. Start giving a shit


Now feel free to comment and tell us some of your resolutions, as you can see me n ramsey are working on resolution number 10…

Tags: christmas, /new year/, resolutions, random

Hip to the Hop

Ok. Ive been gone for a while now but no worries, im back and today hip-hop is gonna get it. Now, I want everyone to understand that this is, in particular, a special post. Im a very big hip-hop fan, I listen to rap all the damn time. I listen to everything from old school to club bangers to gangsta rap… but recently its been real hard defending rap.

Rap started off being the voice of african americans, it was never popular cuz the focus wasn’t the beat but the lyrics. Then it became more of an im-gonna-listen-to-this-track-n-have-some-fun like run dmc or young will smith. But Nowadays…ah man, we got people like Lil’ john, nelly, snoop dogg, p. diddy (or whatever he calls himself), chingy, sean paul n so on n so on…

Now don’t get me wrong. I actually have all those rappers’ albums but as I said earlier, it gets harder n harder to defend those motherfuckers man…

Ying Yang Twins – Wait (the whisper song)

Chorus:
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
wait till you see my dick
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
Ima beat that pussy up.
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
wait till you see my dick
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
Ima beat that pussy up.
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up

CALL ME WHITE BUT I DON’T WANT TO BEAT ANYBODY’S PUSSY UP. IM SORRY! And what GENIUS came up with this song? Ying or yang? Cmon guys, who is it? AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU WHISPER THE WHOLE SONG IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE IT ALRIGHT! Firstly, I cant hear a DAMN thing your sayin secondly I DON’T THINK I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOURE SAYING. Damn. Things like these really get to me.


Nelly – Flap Your Wings

Chorus:
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Hell naw, ain't leavin' me alone, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Hell naw, ain't leavin' me alone, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl
She's got that sweat drippin' all over her body
[Girl] Do you like that sweat drippin' all over my body?
Yea, I like that
That sweat drippin' all over your body
[Girl] You like that sweat drippin' all over my body

im sorry! WHY ARE YOU HAVING A DIALOGUE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SONG NELLY?! Cmoooooon man. And before you do the song ATLEAST explain to your listeners what it means to “get your eagle on.” Pleeeeaaaase do so cuz im not getting it. Its not cuz im slow but cuz im SCARED, Im not sure if I WANT TO get my eagle on. i dont even know what it is...I can just picture my scrawny self runnin around flappin my long n eerie arms…NOT COOL.


Chingy – Right Thurr

Chorus:
I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr)
Switch your hips when you're walkin', let down you're hurr (let down your hurr)
I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr)
Lick your lips when you're talkin', that make me sturr

Ok CHING youre just talkin jibberish now! For all you people who are unfamiliar with the terminology… thurr: there, hurr: hair, sturr: stare. THOSE THREE WORDS (WURRDS) ACTUALLY RHYME!!! WHY, oooooooh ching, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DECIDE TO MISPRONOUNCE N MISSPELL THEM?! WAS IT A PERSONAL CHOICE!? DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT LONG AND HARD?! cuz i dont wanna decypher songs when i listen to them… ITS LIKE AN ENIGMA.


Rhianna – Pon De Replayand

Chorus (x2):
Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up
All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin some more what
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up

Im sorry, what? Did you ACTUALLY make some sense? Like seriously. Did you take the TIME to fuck with my head? And for all you people who are unfamiliar with the terminology…join the club. I mean ok u can have an accent (like sean paul) but rhianna is SURELY gonna be nominated for best foreign act.

And for all you feminists out there, with your unshaven armpits n your buzz cuts (or are those lesbians? Whatever) this last song was ESPECIALLY for you guys since the other ones had to do with women getting their eagles on n letting down their hair, I just wanted to show you that FEMALES can also be… STUPID! and that rappers don’t have to be male to be nasty…have u ever heard of Peaches? Or Khia? Those some naaaaasty bitches…


Khia – My Neck, My Back

Chorus:
my neck,my back
lick my pussy and my crack
my neck,my back
lick my pussy and my crack

THANX FOR THE OFFER! BUT IL PASS!its not even an offer…IT’S A COMMAND. AAAW YOU NASTY! And you guys are lucky I spared you and only decided to show the chorus, you don’t even WANNA KNOW the rest…THIS WAS HER FIRST RADIO SINGLE! Whats the MATTER with you?! Are you DESEEEEEEAAAAAASED?! Oh u so nasty.

Now all these songs that I mentioned are cetegorized as “club bangers,” they’re usually played in clubs therefore, people dance to the beat and not the lyrics. However, I DON’T WANT TO LICK YOUR CRACK, I DON’T WANT THAT. I DON’T WANNA SEE IT…LICK IT…MAN I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT. AND NO I DON’T WANT MY GIRL TO GET HER EAGLE ON AND I DON’T WANT TO BEAT HER PUSSY UP! THESE ARE NOT MY DESIRES!

Ok. Relax. Im breathing now…in conclusion, we all listen to it. Maaaan you can say what you like but at the end of the day youre the one who goes to that club and dances to “the windoooooooow, to the wall. Till the sweat drip down my balls! Till all you bitches crawl!” i know you motherfuckers dance to it…its ok tho, its alright. I do it to, youre not alone. But all im sayin is that…aaaah man, why cant we all just get along? Why do we gota go beat pussies up n lick ass cracks? And go out of our way for our sweat to drip down our scrotum…like…no man. Im not in DESPERATE NEED for any of that. so in my second conclusion, I will stop defending the hip-hop that I love so much cuz at the end of the day we all bump our heads when we hear “go, go, go, go, go shawty, it’s yo birthday…”


Tags: rap, hip-hop, entertainment, random