The Sitcom Shitlist

if u havent noticed, me and oleg dont like....things. shitty things. sometimes we take these shitty things and put them into lists. shitlists. expect more of these to come for a range of topics, including movies, video games, countries (gonna be a long one)...

The definitive shitlist of comedies that made it big, but whose writers should be shot. Me and oleg have been talking about this for a while, now its time to share our knowledge with the world. heres how it works:

1. the shows are all sitcoms
2. inclusion is based on how bad the writing is. acting dosent interest us here
3. the final judgment is based on me and oleg's opinions. no external forces are worth of influencing us
4. if both of us decide that we cannot sit through a show, its here. opposition from either one of us saves the show.
5. to be fair, we have both seen at least a handful of each of these shows' episodes
6. did we miss anything? let us know. were happy to shit on other people's hard work anytime

all right, here they are in no particular order

Oleg and Ramsey's Sitcom Shitlist

Rosanne

a violently bad show about a violently FAT woman. its basically your standard family sitcom minus the money. major themes are money problems, family problems, some more money problems and so on. if seeing other people wallow in their own filth and misery is comedy, then i must have missed the memo guys. but i really wouldnt mind it this much if it wasnt for rosanne's excruciating voice that makes me WANT TO DIE. when she laughs, my soul retreats.......

Golden Girls

Just like sex in the city, except the city just happens to be Constantinople. i feel this show is geared more towards granny fetishes and senior citizens who want to believe they can still get jiggy with it with out breaking a hip. sources of comedy include the mother's predictable bluntness, the predictable stupid one, the predictable slutty one, and the other one who was made normal for contrast. its sad when you can predict an entire episode before its aired. by the way, was viagra available when this show came out? it seems to be the main character...

Benson

a butler becoming assistant governor?? come on!! its too unbelievable to be acceptable. why not just make clause, who sounds like hitler's nanny, president? why not? isnt that zany enough? once again, painfully predictable comedy. 'oh clause is saying something, oh now benson said something witty back. isnt this a blast...' how did people ever find this funny? my dad told me he used to watch it back in the day...lets just say i came very close to becoming an orphan

Harry and the Hendersons

'a normal family sitcom...with a bigfoot! thats got to be funny, right?' i want to meet the twisted fuck who came up with this. its like jamming a talking kangaroo into smallville to make things more dramatic. what can i say? its just not.....funny. i actually leave the room when this show comes on, and it takes alot to move my fat ass.

Sex and the City

plot: a bunch of relatively attractive women. having sex. um...in the city. ok, thanks for reminding me how how shitty my life is, but inducing self pity is not comedy. i think some of the writers got that mixed up. a very hatable sex comedy that gets its "laughs" (note the double quotes i used) from awkward and quirky sex humor. die die die die die

Alf

where is God?

The Nanny

Falls in line with rosanne. a comedy where everything is set in place and cannot be moved, allowing for joke after original joke! witty butler? evil assistant? single but attractive father? sexy non-annoyingohmyGodthatsalie nanny? a winning set up! why change any of that? ever? really!? it wont get old!!!

fuckers

Brady Bunch

never watched too much of this dribble, good looking out mom and dad. two single parents with 3 kids each get married and live the perfect life. come the fuck on! single parents with 3 kids....were talking widows or divorcees, orphans, step children/parents, broken homes people! if the same story was set now it would be depressing as fuck, like the 'brady case' or something. the girls would turn out whores, at LEAST two of the guys would be gay, everyone would drink and smoke their troubles away. this is not a happy situation people! parents argue on tv nowadays and the kid comes out messed up, think of what would happen f u put him in the brady blender...that shit just isnt right.

Coach

again, i was mostly spared of this growing up...but to be fair i forced my self through a few episodes recently, and it was like forcing myself through a small pipe filled with broken glass. lengthwise. its like the writers just gave up, and thought that the laugh track would tell people that something funny was happening, because that really is the only indicator...

Blossom

ok, some facts: when your nose constitutes 32% of your body mass, you will not have a very exciting love life. the writers, crafty as they are, neglected this detail when making the show. blossom and her friend six (no one can ever make fun of oleg and ramsey again) grow up together, go through lifes hardships, enter woman hood and all that spaz, because we give a shit right? a talkative friend and a neanderthal brother saying 'whoa!' gets funnier every time...

Who's the Boss?

Who's the boss? no im serious, who's fucking in charge here? this was not a good show and someone has to pay. your ass is mine danza.

The Parkers

big women with tight tight clothes. in the words of my traumatized little sister "ramsey...dont they know theyre fat? why dosent someone tell them?" i really had no answer to that. a pointless poorly put together moesha spin off thats a waste of my time...and thats saying something...

Family Matters

im sick of shows that make one good joke their first season and try to coast off of it for the next few years, hoping no one will notice..."did i do thaaaaaaat?" yes u did u goatfuck, now hang by ur suspenders till you die.

Quick theory: any show whose title consists of [NAME] & [NAME] is automatically shit. maybe with an exception or two, but none comes to mind. so here they are:

The &'s

Will & Grace

Faith & Hope

Ned & Stacy

Dharma & Greg

to the writers of these shows: please roll over & die. theres a format u might recognize, ass bandits

there u have it. shows that haunt us forever, in the worst way possible. as this is a flexible list, well be adding more as we realize more shows. removing? dont really think so...

Tags: Entertainment, Television, review, shitlist