Hip to the Hop

Ok. Ive been gone for a while now but no worries, im back and today hip-hop is gonna get it. Now, I want everyone to understand that this is, in particular, a special post. Im a very big hip-hop fan, I listen to rap all the damn time. I listen to everything from old school to club bangers to gangsta rap… but recently its been real hard defending rap.

Rap started off being the voice of african americans, it was never popular cuz the focus wasn’t the beat but the lyrics. Then it became more of an im-gonna-listen-to-this-track-n-have-some-fun like run dmc or young will smith. But Nowadays…ah man, we got people like Lil’ john, nelly, snoop dogg, p. diddy (or whatever he calls himself), chingy, sean paul n so on n so on…

Now don’t get me wrong. I actually have all those rappers’ albums but as I said earlier, it gets harder n harder to defend those motherfuckers man…

Ying Yang Twins – Wait (the whisper song)

Chorus:
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
wait till you see my dick
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
Ima beat that pussy up.
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
wait till you see my dick
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
Ima beat that pussy up.
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up

CALL ME WHITE BUT I DON’T WANT TO BEAT ANYBODY’S PUSSY UP. IM SORRY! And what GENIUS came up with this song? Ying or yang? Cmon guys, who is it? AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU WHISPER THE WHOLE SONG IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE IT ALRIGHT! Firstly, I cant hear a DAMN thing your sayin secondly I DON’T THINK I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOURE SAYING. Damn. Things like these really get to me.


Nelly – Flap Your Wings

Chorus:
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Hell naw, ain't leavin' me alone, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Hell naw, ain't leavin' me alone, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl
She's got that sweat drippin' all over her body
[Girl] Do you like that sweat drippin' all over my body?
Yea, I like that
That sweat drippin' all over your body
[Girl] You like that sweat drippin' all over my body

im sorry! WHY ARE YOU HAVING A DIALOGUE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SONG NELLY?! Cmoooooon man. And before you do the song ATLEAST explain to your listeners what it means to “get your eagle on.” Pleeeeaaaase do so cuz im not getting it. Its not cuz im slow but cuz im SCARED, Im not sure if I WANT TO get my eagle on. i dont even know what it is...I can just picture my scrawny self runnin around flappin my long n eerie arms…NOT COOL.


Chingy – Right Thurr

Chorus:
I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr)
Switch your hips when you're walkin', let down you're hurr (let down your hurr)
I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr)
Lick your lips when you're talkin', that make me sturr

Ok CHING youre just talkin jibberish now! For all you people who are unfamiliar with the terminology… thurr: there, hurr: hair, sturr: stare. THOSE THREE WORDS (WURRDS) ACTUALLY RHYME!!! WHY, oooooooh ching, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DECIDE TO MISPRONOUNCE N MISSPELL THEM?! WAS IT A PERSONAL CHOICE!? DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT LONG AND HARD?! cuz i dont wanna decypher songs when i listen to them… ITS LIKE AN ENIGMA.


Rhianna – Pon De Replayand

Chorus (x2):
Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up
All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin some more what
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up

Im sorry, what? Did you ACTUALLY make some sense? Like seriously. Did you take the TIME to fuck with my head? And for all you people who are unfamiliar with the terminology…join the club. I mean ok u can have an accent (like sean paul) but rhianna is SURELY gonna be nominated for best foreign act.

And for all you feminists out there, with your unshaven armpits n your buzz cuts (or are those lesbians? Whatever) this last song was ESPECIALLY for you guys since the other ones had to do with women getting their eagles on n letting down their hair, I just wanted to show you that FEMALES can also be… STUPID! and that rappers don’t have to be male to be nasty…have u ever heard of Peaches? Or Khia? Those some naaaaasty bitches…


Khia – My Neck, My Back

Chorus:
my neck,my back
lick my pussy and my crack
my neck,my back
lick my pussy and my crack

THANX FOR THE OFFER! BUT IL PASS!its not even an offer…IT’S A COMMAND. AAAW YOU NASTY! And you guys are lucky I spared you and only decided to show the chorus, you don’t even WANNA KNOW the rest…THIS WAS HER FIRST RADIO SINGLE! Whats the MATTER with you?! Are you DESEEEEEEAAAAAASED?! Oh u so nasty.

Now all these songs that I mentioned are cetegorized as “club bangers,” they’re usually played in clubs therefore, people dance to the beat and not the lyrics. However, I DON’T WANT TO LICK YOUR CRACK, I DON’T WANT THAT. I DON’T WANNA SEE IT…LICK IT…MAN I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT. AND NO I DON’T WANT MY GIRL TO GET HER EAGLE ON AND I DON’T WANT TO BEAT HER PUSSY UP! THESE ARE NOT MY DESIRES!

Ok. Relax. Im breathing now…in conclusion, we all listen to it. Maaaan you can say what you like but at the end of the day youre the one who goes to that club and dances to “the windoooooooow, to the wall. Till the sweat drip down my balls! Till all you bitches crawl!” i know you motherfuckers dance to it…its ok tho, its alright. I do it to, youre not alone. But all im sayin is that…aaaah man, why cant we all just get along? Why do we gota go beat pussies up n lick ass cracks? And go out of our way for our sweat to drip down our scrotum…like…no man. Im not in DESPERATE NEED for any of that. so in my second conclusion, I will stop defending the hip-hop that I love so much cuz at the end of the day we all bump our heads when we hear “go, go, go, go, go shawty, it’s yo birthday…”


Tags: rap, hip-hop, entertainment, random