here are some of the facts...enjoy...
- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
- Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
- Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/index.html
what a king
(give props to my man Ass, thanks for the hook up dawg. KraKalaKsmaK)
Tags: /chuck norris/, facts, God, badass, entertainment, film, roundhouse, orange, random
15 comments:
CN can divide by zero.
HAHAHHHAHAAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA
i was reading the CN webpage and sanja was laughin her ass off. she had the water running in the bath. she flooded the bathroom because of the CN facts.
poor thing, i think we should get her a t-shirt.
I want a fuckin accreditation. Post it right under Chuck For President. It should read:
"Kareem being the kind and merciful angel that he is, took my hand in his, and sheparded my naive soul through the valley of darkness, and to the valley of Chuck. For this I owe him 4000 souls, to be payed by me and my ancestors to come. I thank Kareem for his guidance, and hope that I shall one day assimilate the wisdom to speak to He."
I think that's good.
we would, but we knew about the chuck site a while before u told me kareem. sorry. your complementary hat is in the mail.
Chuck Norris is coming to Queens University(my univ) to do an act with his dog.HAHAHAHAHA
(no joke im actually serious)
joe, i have two words for u:
PICTURES. SEND.
kareem: "...and my ancestors to come..."
we dont have any ancestors coming, man...our biology dosent roll that way...
BAD NEWS
Chuck Norris will not be coming to Queens after all-turns out it WAS a joke. I misread the bottom of the poster where it said Chuck Norris and his dog WILL NOT be coming...
My dream is ruined...
I hate Queens...
ps: Ramsey I can always send you pictures of my purple jacket :)
Nasser, ok... good call on the whole ancestor thing. I also thought of something else to disprove my soul comment. Let's face it... You two aren't going to reproduce anytime soon. And if God help us you do, then I definitely dont want THOSE souls. Oleg, it took me five seconds to write it, approximately the length of your future acting career. Haha. And so it begins...
joe: sadness envelopes me...oh well, it was fun believing it while it lasted. keep the jackets for now, if we do a post about crazy canadians ill let u know
kareem: i told you it would be colorful
oleg: were SOOO unappealing hahaha
(what an organized comment. i should throw something in just to break the order...)
Banana Salad
(there we go)
You're right about one thing Poo-Poo, there isn't and wasn't any competition in Beirut. Even when your goofy ass was here. Truth is, buddy, I can't really see you as a serious actor. Like you said, and I quote, "i dont take anything too seriously". I think that's listed somewhere as one of the top ten life mottos to achieve success.
And on the other topic. Yes, tis true. I have not had a relationship with a girl, but you see, I'm kinda holding out until I meet someone special. You know? As to avoid getting fucked over.
Anyways, I wouldn't worry about it because it's all in good fun, right? Because you're a funny guy. You really are. Your ass makes me laugh. So, hey, who knows? Maybe someday, when I'm settling down in my mansion with my loving and faithful girlfriend, I'll hire you as my clown and you can do tricks for me. I'm sure I'd enjoy that. Until then, Cheers from Up Above.
(So you're living Down Under? I wonder if that's symbolic...)
Haha. Once again, you amuse me. Have you ever covered an ant in water and watched it squirm? Sometimes their reactions can be pretty funny... And oh, yes, you're right, they do refer to me in the Bible, but I don't blame you for your confusion, see, they refer to me as He. Go back and re-read.. you'll get it.
And one more thing, about the armani shirt comment... I didn't get it. Were you making an allude to me being fat, or me being richer than you? Because I remember you making fun of me for being skinny just a while ago, so I don't get it...
Oh and about the Meg Ryan movies... Come on, man, so many more good names you could throw in. I mean there's Julia Roberts, Audrey Hepburn, etc. I don't limit myself to just one.
Haha, anyway, I can see that you've become desperate, so I'll stop here. I don't want to hurt you... or do I? I don't know, we'll just have to wait and see.
Cheers from your Mentor.
(Seriously, if you ever want tutoring session so you can learn to be a REAL actor, I'd be glad to help..)
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
fucking amazing.
Alright, now I'm just plain tired of you. At first, I found your dirty uncurcumsized Serbian ass amusing, but now you've just become annoying. And don't get me started on hown you seem to take pride in the fact that you are indeed dirty and uncircumsized.
It's funny how you question my fashion sense when all you ever wear is that same oversized cheap blazer over and over again. You could wash it. You could also act your age. I can understand wearing a blazer to a club, but to a Thanksgiving dinner? A bit much.
Oleg, I'm sorry to have to be the first one to say this to your face, but you're a joke. You're entertaining in a highschool clown sort of way, but that's it. That's as far as you'll get. Highschool. Nobody takes you seriously, hell, you don't even take yourself seriously, or your future career, now what does that say about you? It's all fun and games in ACS, but what happens when life gets serious, which, I'm sad to say, it sorta has a habit of doing.
And yes, I have a very good friend who lives in New York, and no, I don't have phone sex with him, nor am I gay, you child. And also, I do think it's best to hold out for someone special then to just date the first big-titted redhead that comes along, but hey, to each his own, right? But you see Oleg, the difference between me and you is, I cant afford to make that mistake from the get-go, because, unlike you, I have a little too much pride to take back the girl after she fucks the local football team. But, hey, once again, to each his own.
Also, you asked if I could have had someone and chose not to. Well, I could have your ex as many times as I wanted, but that would have just been plain sex, and I want more than that. What's funny is, after all that fuss about how much you loved her, then you go and tell Dana that you love her? Is that right?
She also told me what you said about me, and that I didn't know what I was talking about liking her? Dude, she was laughing when she told me. Like I said, people just don't take you seriously. That's why your girlfriend cheated on you, that's why you'll never make it as an actor, and that's why you'll never really experience anything fucking meaningful until you GET REAL. Wisen up, you fucking monkey.
It's really too bad you caught me when I'm in a bad mood. I'm usually not this harsh, but well, I'm in a bad mood and you pissed me off. Your mule says hello. Oh, and I hope your visitor count goes way up, I wouldn't want people to miss this.
"now to clarify, i didnt get offended by your last comment. not even slightly". 10 hysterical paragraphs say otherwise. The dying sermon of the desperate man. One last question though, if you're so secure, how come you had to explain yourself to me?
Goodnight and good luck, Oleg. You're going to need it.
It is looking pretty good actually, thank you for asking. And you may be right, I may be a bit too serious and dramatic. I'll take your advice into consideration. See you.
dude oleg is fucking awesome and i hung out with him for like 2 days only. []D ][ []V[] []D
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