For anyone who has even heard of eurovision know that it is painful to watch. Europeans dont get far in the international music industry (Americans kinda dominate it) SO, they make eurovision: European singers battling it out on the stage. Its countries from all over Europe and if you don’t speak a good 36 languages then the show is boring…well, it’s huge (bombastic, may I say) in Europe.
Thanks to tara, i was informed of a JUNIOIR eurovision contest, held last year in Bucharest, Romania (already a bad start). You know how im usually pissed? passionate about the idiot in the universe?…well, I attacked this with calm.
I clicked on ‘history’ on http://www.juniorvision.tv/ (.tv? cmon. That’s worse than org and net) just to see what genius came up with this and I got…
‘It's a time machine!
Oops, you just entered the Junior Eurovision Song Contest time machine! Remember the first ever Junior Eurovision Song Contest in Copenhagen, in 2003?’
first of all why so excited spunky (dare I say zany)? Second, Im not in a time machine and no I don’t remember Copenhagen 2003. no I don’t. it continues…
‘Did you see Lillehammer 2004 on television, or did you celebrate last year's competition in Hasselt?’
im sorry what? Can you repeat yourself?
'Lillehammer'
MC hammer? Lil’ hammer? Is that a contestant? I let lil’ bow wow pass but lil hammer? No. he will hang with santa. if it’s a city then I don’t want to research it…im afraid it might be located in Luxembourg (Romania last year, Copenhagen before that…the odds are great) and I don’t want to get depressed/angry/start using italics…
Meet pedro from Portugal (note the double use of plosive p, its genius). Hes a contestant. And an infant. I have a problem with pre-pubescent boys singing. Never liked em. Sclub7 kids or whatever…disappeared. Why? Read the end of post ‘im good.’
The genius who created this universal (European) curse? I don’t know. Probably the same motherfu…sorry. Probably the same homo erectus who created jim’s gym or wok on inn…
The universe is what? An idiot. That’s right. And I what? Hate it. Ramsey we need to conquer the world as soon as possible…people need our help.
Oh if you were wondering who the winner was…Former Yugoslav Replublic of Macedonia. First of all, any product of Macedonia is not quality second of all Greece should get over it and give them their name back…that’s a different story tho.
Im gonna go now. Im calm. Lookin forward to next year, maybe we’ll see lil wham (im not putting the exclamation mark)…
‘We’re bringin eighties back. YEP. them mothafuckas don’t know how to act. YEP…’
Tags: europe, kids, ugly, macedonia, mc hammer,bow wow, eurovision, random.
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