"Alf, for the block!"

Ahh...Its been a while since ive posted. Some of you may have started to think that i grew up or something, so as proof of the contrary...

If you have ever read this blog before, you will know that I do not trust television very much, yet they always seem to find a way to make me trust them less. I was watching hollywood squares the other day, and I saw easily the stupidest thing possible: Alf was center square. this is probably old news to most of you, but i didnt get a memo or anything, so bear with me. alf. what the fuck. i can handle a flamboyant black woman, even a bitter lesbian, but not alf. NEVER alf. this Godless creature deserves to be nowhere but my ass.

Call me a pussy, but that shits scary. my memories of the alf show are very vague, most probably blocked out as trauma. i remember alf in a kitchen talking about eating cats. would you really want alf loose in your house? around your kids? and cats?? come on!! ALF!

by the way alf stands for Alien Life Form........it actually hurts...

as usual, i am not that offended by alf's existence. i accept the fact that God has created sick and twisted people on this earth soley to fuck with me, much like i accept the existence of nazis and zionists. but what kills me is the immense popularity of alf. he was embraced by the american public and made into an icon. from popularity comes merchandise:

Alf Comics:

dont read the word bubbles if you value your sanity. people actually read this. now why would you do that? peoples children asked them "mom, dad, can i have an alf comic?" and people said yes. thats as bad as naming a wheelchair-ridden kid "rider"

"Alf Tales" TV Show:

theres more of him. yup. alf gets a whole alfin' family to play with, complete with two younger siblings and parents. fuck every one of them. and why is it that in cartoons, just wearing a shirt is enough to count as dressed? YOU ARE ALL NAKED. i really dont like the sister, with her hands on her hips like shes some shit. pudgy ass bitch.

Alf Video Game:

This one is painful. i was always a fan of old school games with shit graphics, but this is just...ass. and im not christian or anything, but ISNT WALKING ON WATER RESERVED FOR JESUS CHRIST?!?! ALF IS NOT JESUS. fuck. the quote. hes trying to be whimsically cute. thank God there was no picture of him in a speedo or something...

Alf Plush Toys:

Plush toys have a way of never looking like what theyre supposed to, and this one is no exception. alleged 'toy' above looks more like a cooked chimpanzee fetus than anything else, and is not something i would give to my children. or any children. and ive been known to hurt me some kid.

so there you have it. alf. another piece of stupid from the 80s, and one who haunts us till this day in reruns of hollywood squares.

people complain about islamic terrorism. at least we didnt invent alf.

Tags: alf, /oh no/, /why god, entertainment, television, random

oopsies!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
stupid ass chick.

Tags: egg, chick, random

gas master

got a funny ass site for y'all! hahaha what a funny ass site...now il admit, i knew about it from before but i havent visited it in many years. you can ask ramsey when it comes to gas (with mass from the ass) i AM the king, it is ony normal that im going to show you this.

http://www.fart.com/fartwavs.html

its just different farting sounds. some of my favs/recomendations are ton o' farts, forced grease, skid marks, fart on the run, southpark, bean fart song, and shotgun fart. i know it all sounds grewsome but please, i beg you, give em all a try. itl be worth your time. you can also go to www.fart.com for more fart-related topics like cards, movies n whatever else.

have a fartalicious time! (god i hate myself)

Tags: fart, sound, random

never to be forgotten

As many of you know, Richard Prior passed away recently at the age of 65. he was a great inspiration for almost all comedins today(Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, Bernie Mac n many more). i just felt that our site had to pay tribute to this legend since Ramsey and i both, not only enjoy but, belive in comedy. many things on this site are comedic or on a brighter side of things, we dont take shit too seriosuly because we dont see a need to do so. we share that raw and angry comedy that he's made so famous, i just thought since we are like this we owed him at least a lousy post. Richard Prior, the man who made the word "mothafucka" famous, was one of the greatest thats ever done it. He was the real king of comedy and even after death he will be celebrated. may you rest in peace my man.

Tags: /richard prior/, comedy, entertainment, random

why, god?

according to sloth.com (yes, it exists) a sloth's self defense is camoflauge. ya think?! well, hes not gonna run away is he?












god i hate this animal...

hints that your existense is meaningless:

1. your name is a sin

2. it takes you 13 hours to climb a tree

3. your self defense is being ugly

4. you have only 3 digits

Tags: sloth, animals, random

the beautiful 3rd world

- Serbia

Buffy gone wild

now, in a brighter light, i have a very amusing site for you. no, im not gonna diss any pop icons or movie stars. please take a look at this hilarious site that my good sister pointed out to me. watch buffy swear...

http://www.rathergood.com/buffy/

For more unimportant and pointless songs/events (for lack of a better word) visit: http://www.rathergood.com

on the left hand side there will be a bunch of stuff to pick from. if youre bored and have nothing better to do...CH-CH-CHECK IT OUT.

fenks sis.

Tags: buffy, internet, random

The Beatles: Overrated

my next victims: THE BEATLES. oooooh this is a good one. now, dont hate me. i wouldnt post it if ramsey wasnt cool with it. he cant stand them either! hahaha. for you beatles lovers out there dont leave just yet! stay, relax, read the post; you might leave enlightened. hear me out. i will, however, shit on them and it wont be pretty but hey life aint pretty so deal with it.


now heres a spunky bunch! known for their dickhead hair, soundproof eyeglasses and offcourse their catchy tunes. yanno, the tunes that all sound the same n that make me want to dig out my eyes with a blunt axe. those tunes that sound the same n that are so repetative it makes you ckeck your stereo twice cuz u think its broken. those tunes that sound the same with lyrics that CLEARLY reveal that all four (lennon,mccartny n the other two) were on drugs. those tunes that sound the same. hold on, they sound the same. its as if you put oasis' wonderwall on repeat...n after aaaaaaaaaaaall, youre my wonderwaaaaaaaaaall. say maybeeeeeee (maybeeeeeeee) youre gonna be the one that saves meeeeeeeee (saves meeeeeee), n after aaaaaaaaaaaaall, youre my wonderwaaaaaaaaaall...

ya get the point.

"I Want To Hold Your Hand "

Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand
I'll let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

wait wait! nono, dont help me out here! i can figure it out by myself...hmmmmm... im GUESSING someone wants to hold someone else's hand...its just an idea im throwin out there really! im not sure... PLEASE. which crackhead came up with these lyrics. cant you just picture them with their fatass guitars n their matching outfits and their shoobidoos? theyre bouncin around high on fame n meth n makin the girls go wild. "oooh i want me some of that british lovin. oh what? u have bad teeth n nasty hair? i dont care! as long as youre up on stage singin about holdin my hand i think i want to conceive your babies!" ass munchers.

"Yellow Submarine"

So we sailed up to the sun
Till we found the sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine

whoa! this was apparently written as they were being introduced to the magic shrooms. sea of green? im sorry, its either a sea full of mold or sea full of bright n colorful things! sailed up to the sun? you cannot fly a sumbarine! you sick bastards, little kids were singin these tunes! and yellow, if im not mistaken, refers to their teeth. u nasty nasty brits. you trick little chicldren into thinkin youre singin about a friendly yellow submarine thats magical. u never define magical! godamnit I sang it when i was a kid only to realize that i had been a victim to your flower-power-lets-get-high-like-theres-no-tomorrow- bullshit. fruitcakes.

"Ob-la-di Ob-la-da"

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra
La-la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra
La-la how the life goes on, yeah (No)

WOW. well thought out guys! it seems like lennon was really thinkin straight when he wrote this masterpiece. this was post-magic shrooms. this is where their memory span halted n they couldnt remember the nights before. and one more thing guys, whats bra?! tell me thats brittish slang for brother. TELL ME THIS! i will kill you commit suicide n kill you again...n again n again n again n again until u start killing yourselves. and yeh, usually when im down i hop around saying gibberish like obladi-oblada-bambooroo-shoobidoo-bapaaa life goes on BROTHER. yeh thats me alright. then i snap out of it and piss on your graves you deceased losers. ass bandits.

in conclusion: they are overrated. but its not the peoples fault. they were all too busy livin in the yellow submarine to realize they were listening to shitty music. the problem is that people my age listen to them as well. their parents must have done something to them cuz that shit aint right. we're supposed to be the future. future. not the handicapped. well either way i dont wanna see these fruitloops on tv anymore, theyve been dead for decades now i dont know what the fuss is. the oldies, still listenin to them, can do it quielty and on their own time and my generation needs to move the fuck on n stop being so simple. as far as the future goes...lets hope they start driving actual vehicles n not go for the yellow submarines cuz we all know what that leads us to...

Obladi-Oblada-babababa-booboooo

ya get the picture.

Tags: /the beatles/, /yellow submarine/, drugs, entertainment, music, random

dolphin 007

i found this article on dolphins. PLEASE read it. i have so many damn comments about it but i don't want to ruin anything. i just dont think im gonna look at dolphins the same way again. im not an animal activist or anything, i never really gave two shits, so this is good feedback for me. animals are, in fact, evil. when someone calls you an 'animal' i believe there is some logic behind it and that it is not an overated expression.

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,,1577753,00.html

its so american. read it, you'll know what im talkin about. who else would do this? they can get dolphins to do all this but they cant find tupacs killer. ok.

Tags: dolphin, katrina, terrorist, random

Anniversary!

Well, its been exactly one month and a day (didnt have time to post yesterday) since empty white room went online, and we managed to round up about 760 visitors. not bad for a site as pointless as this one, considering i was unable to post for two weeks due to exams.

One thing that saddens me, though, is the lack of comments. i dont get it. no one is commenting. i know theyre reading the posts (were tracking the site guys), but no one is responding to out inanity! It hurts a bit, u know?

Ok, lets make it intersting. The first person to post wins a brand new hat! Horray! now get to it!

(u see oleg?!? u see the feather?!?!? i told u they put a feather in the hat!!!! i knew this u horrible serb)

well, thats all for now. good things to come, so keep coming back.