Wednesday, July 26, 2006

i love the universe sometimes

my sister got this email that went by the subject of STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL/URGENT ASSISTANCE NEEDED. yeeeeeh. i thought i would post it because...oh well. just to waste your valuable time and perhaps entertain you...or not whatever. i could comment on this email but... whatever...

sometimes the universe brings great things to our lives...

Dear Friend,

               Confidencial and top secret
I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise. I am the bill and exchange manager in Bank of Africa. I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that i am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.

We need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $11.3million immediately to your account.The money has been dormant for may years in our Bank here without any body coming for it.

We want to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer(the owner of the account)who died a long with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since July 2000.

We don't want the money to go into our Bank treasury as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why i contacted you, so that my bank will release the money to you as the nearest person to the deceased cutomer.

Please we would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you are not interested.

Upon receipt of your reply, i will send you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 25% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to transact the business with us.

MR TAREK OMARBank Of Africa,Burkina Faso-West Africa


im sorry i must laugh at BANK OF AFRICA

....

hahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahaahahahaahahahahaahahaha

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

the (not so) beautiful 1st world #2


its not cigarette BUDS?

no?

-sydney, australia

Thursday, July 20, 2006

menaked.jpg


my girlfriend sent me this picture

love at first sight people

Sunday, July 16, 2006

from an embattled lebanon

this is bull shit.

this site is funny and lighthearted most of the time, but im going to get serious for a moment. my country is under attack with me inside it, and this is what i have to say.

i dont know what western media is saying, and frankly i dont care. probably all lies anyway, but here are the facts on the ground, no media no nothing. i live here and im seeing this with my own eyes.

hezballah captured two soldiers in israeli territory. not cool, i (and a lot banon) completley disagree with what hezballah did and would not blame israel for clashing with hezballah to return the soldiers. but...

israel is bombing my country into dust. children have nothing to eat. innocent people are dying. cnn wont tell/show you this, but its all true. i hear the planes over head, i see the bombs fall and the people scatter. we left our house in beirut and headed, quite litterally, for the hills to be safer. i am now a displaced person. how, is all i ask, does this help israel get its two soldiers back? i guess the fact that i cant see my friends or go to school victory in the war on terrorsim. and the airport. lebanon's only civilian airport is being bombed out of existence. and for what? anyone who beleives the excuse that israel doesnt want the hostages flown our of lebanon is blind beyond hope. theyve knocked out bridges, our light house, all our ports, hit people's houses directly, bombed convoys of escaping cars, and crippled lebanon's economy as much as possible. war on terror? resolution 1559? two soldiers? which noble mission does this help?

another interesting point. till now, 5 days into this self defence mission, not a single hezballah military target has been hit. not one. and israel knows more about hezballah's positions than hezballah does. so why start with the bridges and the peoples houses before you bomb the people who are bombing you?

hezballah bombing northern israel: not cool. very wrong and deplorable. i always hold that any attack on civilians is terrorism. but compare the damage done to haifa to the damage done to lebanon. measured response? self defence? these words are loosing meaning...

israel and america seem to have a united front against and speak with one voice when it comes to hezballah. they say that hezballah means to destroy lebanon and that israel will save it from the hezb's grips. wow. i actualy heard a guy say this on tv. israel, the people who made it sport to hunt my countrymen and torture them inhumanely, are here to save us? i am not pro-hezballah in anyway, but the opinion that israel actually cares about human life is laughable to anyone who has seen their operations with their own eyes.

i call on any pro-israeli to contact me through email at aladameh@gmail.com or to comment on this site with his answers to these questions. i dont want to argue, i dont want to shout at you. there are bombs falling over my head and i simply want to know how people can see that as justified. help me understand you.

http://epetitions.net/julywar/index.php sign it. it probably wont do anything, but its a message.

we worked so hard for so long to rebuild this country after the war. so hard. and the zionist war machine is working to erase it all. thank you UN for your balanced world view. thank you america for all the support you give our democracy loving neighbours. thank you syria and iran for fighting a war on our land. thank you hezballah for lettingall of lebanon down. and finnaly, thank you israel for your continued regard to human life, un resolutions and and general boyish charm that makes zionism such a loveable line of thought.

pray for lebanon.

oleg, tag this for me, i dont have time.

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Friday, July 14, 2006

yanyans and stag beetles


yanyan...oh yes. what makes the third world beautiful. we have these in the third world, they are perfectly engineered and a little complicated so try to stay with me...

bread stick. chocolate dip. take bread stick and dip in chocolate. eat and experience heaven.

do you need anything else in life? not really no.

so now you are introduced to the yanyan.



stag beetle...not many of us know what it is.

The stag beetles are a group of about 1,200 species of beetle in the family Lucanidae, the most well-known species being Lucanus cervus, a large beetle found in much of Europe. Some species grow to 8 cm (3.25 in), but usually they are about 5 cm (2 in).

thank you wikipedia, youre a life saver.

ok now you know the two, but why oleg? the two have nothing to do with each other...

pateince my fellows (you can say fellows right? like 'my fellow left me' 'me and my fellow built a jet' i can use it like friends or chaps? i still prefer fellows to chaps)

the reason this isnt another 'the beautiful 3rd world' is because i found (not discovered) the yanyan in a chinese store in sydney. but the ones in sydney are upgraded, yanyan 2.0 for your ass... on each bread stick there is a phrase. possibly a chinese proverb and it all includes animals but the only problem is theyre written in english...


stag beetle love it

go for more panda

dont be timid mouse

snail snail mail?

chick favourite color: yellow


(excuse the horid breadsticks drawings)

the proverbs dont quiet work, no. i just laugh so much everytime i eat them, just thought i would share this loveliness with you. but despite all the dumbass proverbs i still stag beetle love it

love iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Were Back! A Dinosaur's Story


thats sort of a lie.
while its true that me and oleg are back, it is not, in fact, a dinosaur's story...even though that would be interesting. (oleg would be the goofy mother fucker on the left, and id be the badass flying. dont let him tell you different)
so,
quick summary of events? ive left engineering school = more time to self = more downloading porn + posting on emptywhiteroom = yay. oleg, back in his native siberia (coach...its serbia), now has internet = he can post too = he can carry my lazy ass when i forget to update this bitch = yay. thats two yay's people. count them. thats more than any "real" site would ever give you.
expect great things to come. or don't. either way, were back and its on. long live the 3rd world.

the beautiful 3rd world pt.4

this is fuckin great. i got no comment.

- Sri Lanka

(give props to my man Ass, thanks for the hook up homie. KraKalaKsmaK)

shitalia

In the spirit of the World Cup and in the spirit of Italy’s win I decided to shit on them. Where else would you get that but here?

I was actually for them cuz I cant stand france BUT still I shall sit on them and let lose, why? Cuz I can. Just remember you heard it here first on EmptyWhiteRoom…

Ok this is for all the girlies who supported Italy because they have ‘cute guys’ and whatever, I’m here to convince you otherwise…


Tomassi

What can I say? Looks like a fuckin hobo. There’s nothing wrong with a haircut homie. You can have GOOD afros, this shits possible BUT ONLY WITH BLACK PEOPLE TOMASSI you slut. And something about his beard disturbs me…maybe cuz it looks dirty or SHITTY and with his hair he truly looks homeless.

Pessoto

His head isn’t in proportion with his body. Looks like Davey (ramsey you know what im talking about). Looks more scandanavian than anything, really. Looks like a … ljundstrom or some shit. The fact that he has a haircut suggests that he isn’t Italian BUT he very much is. He also injured himself cuz he fell out of a window…this guy beats the hobo.

Samuel

Looks Albanian. The godamned fringe is NOT FLY HOMIE, its anything but. Your blue eyes can only do so much. Looks like a damn refugee, some sort of foreigner, some orphan who played football on the streets his whole life, dropped out of the 4th grade and became a Cinderella story. THERES NOTHING CINDERELLA ABOUT YOUR LOOKS HOMIE, YOU MIGHT, JUST MIGHT, RESEMBLE THE FAT MOUSE CINDERELLA FOUND ‘CUTE’ BUT THAT’S AS FAR AS YOU GO. This is a pity cute, that doesn’t count.


Vieri

Ok. we all know this guy but LOOK AT HIM. big chin. big nose. big hair. youre so filthy. looks like a cheap hollywood attempt to portay a slav terrorist…'mmmm I wanna put some Chinese letters on my arm…and oh, an ARROW would be good too. And add some tribal while you at it, a friend told me it looks good. While you do that I will BATHE IN JELL AND SLICK MY FILTHY HAIR’ you goatfuck.



Zola

Hahahahahahaahahahahaha what an ugly bitch. Head is supersized. Chin is jay leno. Hair (off course) voluptuous. Looks like the fuckin original Hulk. i don’t have much comment on him, you decide…

Peruzzi

You fat bitch. I love this guy but hes an ugly bitch. And don’t give me the ‘hes a cuddly bear’ shit cuz that shit just means hes a FATTY. Goalie my ass. He just stands in front of the goal and POSSIBLY roll every once in a while to get the ball. Fatman.

Well there you have it, I hope I shined (shone? I don’t know my English) some light your way. Firstly, cute doesn’t work/matter in sport. Secondly, theyre all filthy (and may I add 3 feet tall). Thirdly, don’t let long hair fool you, theyre just hiding their zits and UGLY.

Ladies…short, buff-legged, slimey men with bad hair shouldn’t be turn ons.

(oh shit I just realized I described Ramsey in my last sentence…my argument is accurate)

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my sister for president

hey motherfuckers!

my sister opened up a site VISIT IT

http://www.sanjaforpresident.splinder.com

this one is in italian.

http://www.sanjapresidente.splinder.com

this is the english version.

its a good personal sort of blog that is also for the reader. it is just starting up but is ONLY gonna get better.

GO NOW MOTHERFUCKERS

Saturday, July 08, 2006

the (not so) beautiful 1st world

mcdonalds ........ check

KFC .................. check

pizza hut .......... check

dominos ........... check

subway ............ check

burger king ...



this is no lie my lovely readers. hungry jacks is the australian version of burger king. why make your life hard? just call it what it is... i dont get it but i know i feel cheated... if this was the third world theyd think of some better name surely...

koruption king

hungry arabs

Zar of burgers

avtomat kalashnikova king

machete burgers

pirate king

terrorist monarchy

wedontgiveafuck burgers

no pork please burgers

... and shit like that...

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