thats it

christians, jews, muslims, most major religions have described some kind of 'end of the world' or judgement day or whatever. u know, wrath of God, dead rising, antichrist...shit really hitting the fan. being the bored species we are, many have tried to predict this demise in one way or another. remember the people holed up in bunkers on January 1, 2000 waiting for the world to implode? hahaha stupid fuckers...

one more bit of background information: those of you who have been reading this blog for a while (basically me) would have noticed that im not a particularly angry person. thats oleg. im usually calm and resolved and not to get too angry, u know? lifes good.

this was an exception.

this was bad. a very very bad thing.

i found...

HICK HOP

why.

just why, thats all i want to know.

i want to know WHY the fuck this exists.

WHY IS THIS LEGAL?! HOW CAN THEY LET PEOPLE PUBLISH THIS KIND OF ITEM AND THEN PUT IT IN STORES FOR GOOD MEN AND WOMEN TO PURCHASE?!?!?!?!!?!?!? I DONT EVEN WANT TO IMAGINE THEM *LISTENING* TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!

im better.

what is 'Hick Hop,' you may ask? well, other than HELL'S INFLAMED NIPPLES ON A CD, its supposed to be a blend of country music with rap. country rap. crap. coincidence? you decide.

they rap about hick-topics, like racing against trains and impregnating sisters. NOT wholesome stuff. they play country instruments, like the banjo and that stooopid ass jug that you blow into (you know what i mean) to hip-hop beats. sound bad? STOP TRYING, YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF IMAGINIG.

thats it. game over. the world is ending. no im serious, stop laughing, im not being cute. the world is coming to and end. if youre a believer, repent ur sins. if ur not, convert. stop smiling, im building a bunker.

the 'leader' of this GODLESS revolution is a gentleman named 'Cowboy Troy.'




I LIED TO YOU HE IS NEITHER GENTLE NOR A MAN I HATE HIM SO.
they ran out of things to say in songs along time ago (it was inevitable, ive done the math), so recently its been all "my car is so P-I-M-P-E-D" or "my chick is so H-O-T" or "i miss you so M-U-C-H" or some generic shit. fine. ive adapted. but now they're running out of ways to sing shitty lyrics?!!? they have to start mixing and matching genres to get their phallic* ideas out?!?!?! whats next? death metal/reggae? church gospel/trance? electro-funk/polka?? these are not good ideas.

i make it a policy of my life never to comment/judge/stroke/evaluate anything without firsthand knowledge of it. so i decided to visit Commander Troy's website. i am a doomed man.

http://www.cowboytroy.com/

abandon all hope, yee who enter there.

wow.

i really have zero hope in mankind. i always had very very little, ESPECIALLY with the shit we run into and publish on this site (ear candling?!?! come the fuck on...) but this is it. this is the straw that broke the camels back. its more of a sledgehammer, actually, that brutally destroyed the camel and his friends and colleagues. the world is ending. youll see.

oleg wanted me to mention that hes emotionally torn apart by the idea of hick hop. so i mentioned it.

stupid ass troy. ruined a perfectly good movie. fucker.


*phallic: adj, of or relating to the penis.

Tags: Entertainment (what a lie), Music, armageddon, troy

oh the horror!

OH NO!

BUT OH NOOOOOO!

(i know the indian man is second guessing god's plan right about now)

Chuck for President

i got thee funniest site for you. i read this last night and i laughed out loud. out LOOOUUUD. i dont do that too often. the site is all about chuck norris. hahahahahahaha. sorry. it lists facts for why chuck is the biggest badass the world has ever seen. now as unappealing as that sounds just trust me, go check it out and if u dont like the first page then leave and never visit our site again...matter of fact i offer my ass to you. but trust me, you wont regret it.

here are some of the facts...enjoy...


- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

- Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is

- Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/index.html

what a king

(give props to my man Ass, thanks for the hook up dawg. KraKalaKsmaK)

Tags: /chuck norris/, facts, God, badass, entertainment, film, roundhouse, orange, random

Empty White Room Breaking News

BEIRUT - It has been reported that Keso the Whale, the first whale to learn calculus, has opened an mp3 player factory in the mountains of Klowand, Iran. This new mp3 player, dubbed "Sundance," is meant to rival the iPod in every way possible, including the iPods famous juice maker.

When asked to comment, Keso only said "du bist deutschland," much to our suprise.

The inovator of many things, Keso the Whale is most known for his profecieny in both calculus and german, not to mention his smash hit books "googling past the graveyard using firefox" and "The Apple: Why does it give us gas?"...books that many of us keep under our pillows when we sleep.

Top iPod analysts Chris Matthews and Bin Laden said "...if sundance does well, this could be the grindstone weve all been waiting for!" Matthews then promptly took off his pants and began to cry.

Jack Bauer, a noted biolinguist, was not as optomistic. "...ill sand paper my nipples off...and cement my dick to my foot if keso has his way..." he later added "...I...like...men...alot..." John Tierney said "Bloggies!"

If this is whats to come, there may be no hope for mankind. Our prayers and pants are with you. -EWR

You heard it first from empty white room...

Tags: Iran, mp3, iPod, Weblog, News, random, Canada

brb

hahahaha what bad graphics

Tags: baby, Internet, chat, random

*N Sync

yes
DOES THAT STAND FOR 'IN SYNCHRONIZATION'!??!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS??!?!?!!

like does it refer to their dance moves? are they 'in the groove' with teens? are they down with life? WHAT ARE YOU SYNCHRONIZED WITH, PLEASE HELP ME!

and that ridiculous star. DO YOU ALSO PUT A SMILEY FACE ON YOUR I's?!??!!?!

I DONT LIKE THEM.

(blonde motherfucker is the scariest. looks like he wants to bite me on the ass.)

Tags: nsync, pop, music, boys, entertainment, television, random

Ear Candling

why is the kid seem so happy?! she seems almost aroused...

ear candling...aaah what can i say. its, among other things, depressing. they burn one end of the candle sitck and your ear wax softens and oozes out. what troubles me more than this irregular past-time activity is that the little kid filled the whole motherfuckin plate. your kid's diseased, mom. look at that plate, its half full!

Tags: ears, candles, wax, random

a nationality orgy

Now, im not a racist. I never was. I moved around my whole life ive lived in Bahrain, Kuwait, Poland, Lebanon, Italy, Serbia and now in Iran. If I wanted to I couldn’t be racist, I cant discriminate cuz of the cultures I have seen in my life which is WHY i am justified to write this post.

Have you ever watched a sport and noticed that the person did not match the nationality he/she was representing? Lets say a Lee played for Trinidad and Tobago or something. Yanno? It just doesn’t make any sense and I have never been a fan of this. I don’t know, call it what you like but I have simply never been a fan. If I see a fellow slav playing for Australia (or any other first world country) it saddens me. Theres something about it I cant quiet put my finger on…

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Zlah-tan Eebra-heem-ovich) – Swedish Football National Team

OH NO! but many oh no’s! this one, in particular, is a painful one. Let me explain why…zlato means gold in serbian. Zlatno means golden (referring to objects) in serbian. Zlatan means golden (referring to persons) in Serbian. THE MANS NAME MEANS GOLDEN! Hes gooooolden, not Swedish but zlaaaaaatan. Now if your last name contains a Muslim name then you are, in fact, muslim. if your last name ends in “vic” you are a slav… Ibrahim – vic … Ibrahimovic… A MUSLIM SLAV. which can only mean one thing: HE IS A MUSLIM BOSNIAN. That’s it. Theres nothing more to it. Zlatan is a farm boy from Bosnia. Any debates? Didn’t think so because what I say is factual. Now if youre STILL not convinced…BLACK HAIR, DARK EYEBROWS AND BROWN EYES ISNT EXACTLY SWEDISH MATERIAL.

Khalid Khannouchi (Khah-led Khan-oo-shee) – USA running team

Yeah? You like fuckin with my head? Yeh, youre good? Gooood. Cuz khannouchi is NEVER American. I understand that America is thee land of immigrants but I suggest you guys stick to the dantes and alfontes (and any other black name you prefer) to be on your running teams. Firstly, they look better in tights, secondly theyre American. They are. Theyre African-American, their ancestors came to the land, not in great conditions, but they made roots there. But Khannouchi came to America and he IS the roots, yanno what im sayin? The African slaves wouldn’t be able to run for America cuz they were just too fresh. Maybe his childrens childrens children can but you, khanouch, MAY NEVER. And cmon, khalid, homie, what u doin there man? Come back here to the middle east, represent us man. We have good (if not better) grounds for you to run on. You like long distances? Run to iraq n back, visit your American homies there. And the turf will be a REAL test, dodging bombs n shit, that’ll prepare the shit out of you. i KNOW you miss the shawarmas n the poverty, im certain.

Jon Robert Holden – Russian National Basketball Team

The black man above is a Russian. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. oh MAN, what a Russian! I didn’t know Russia had hoods, shit. Cmooooon, now you must agree with me on this one. cmon. somehow i just dont see a hammer n sickle next to his picture. Hes jonny from around the block. 15 years ago he would have been in the RED basketball team, how amusing would that have been? Hes not the Vladimir Vlatchkov or the Ivan Pavlov you would expect. Hes a Russian Dominique. Hahahaha. Sorry, I must laugh at this. He cant make it in the US of A so he goes to Vladimir Putin (what a Russian) and asks for a passport. His homies are like “aaaw J Dawg! Sup man?! U aint representin’ u aint even have a rap album out, u aint even gettin your eagle on. Aw damn homie, J Rob gon get it.” Well atleast he’s not playin for money right?! This is the only case where a first worlder came to the third …on his own will. And besides, holden you cant be on the damn Russian team, youz a nnnnnnn….aw I aint gona say it (check first sentence of first paragraph). But I know you all are thinkin it.

PEOPLE! Dammit, stop being so godamn confused. You cant change where you come from. By lookin at your last name we know what house from what village from what country you come from, its just the way it is, theres no bullshittin here. Zlatko, go back to BiH and play for their shitty ass team man, money aint everythin. Khannouchi, go back to whatever third world country your ass hails from (morocco) and live in harmony n terrorism, it’s the only way. And holden, maaaan go back to your homies. They miss you dawg, go kiss the baby mama, roll the trees n run from the hip hop police, shit who knows u might even get that album deal.

Damn, I hate you motherfuckers.

Potential war starters:

Nx M’baye - Hungary

O’connor - Indonesia

Gupta - Mexico

Livingston - Vietnam


Tags: ibrahimovic, khannouchi, holden, confusion, sports, nationality, random

aah, good times

YEAH!

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT!

WOOOW!

OKAY!

WOOOW!

YES!

WOOOW!

GOOD STUFF!

WOOOW!

PARTAYE!

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT!

WOOOW!

DESIGN A JET!

WOOOW!

HEAT IT UP!

WOOOW!

TREMENDOUS HAIR!

WOOOW!

THIGHS N FEET!

WOOOW!

PARTY IN HERE!

WOOOW!

ON THE NINTH FLOOR!

WOOOW!

WHERE’S THE PARTY?

WOOOW!

PARTY’S HERE!

WOOOW!

CORRECT!

WOOOW!

AFFIRMATIVE!

WOOOW!

ITS 8 O’ CLOCK

WOOOW!

WAAA, THE NIGHTS YOUNG!

WOOOW!

GET THE TRUMPET!

WOOOW!

GET THE ACCORDION!

WOOOW!

GET THE GUITAR!

WOOOW!

YOUZ A HOOOOO!

WOOOW!

NOW IS THE TIME!

WOOOW!

TO UNITE!

WOOOW!

TO DRINK SPRITE!

WOOOW!

HUSSEINS NOT BRIGHT!

WOOOW!

EAT TURKISH DELIGHTS!

WOOOW!

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT!

WOOOW!

NUNS ARE TIGHT!

WOOOW!

PISS ON RAMSEYS SITE!

WOOOW!

YOURE FUNNY RIGHT!?

WOOOW!

BLACK OR WHITE!

WOOOW!

IS THE LIGHT VIOLET?!

WOOOW!

IS IT FUCHIA?!

WOOOW!

NO, ITS RED!

WOOOW!

BUT ROXANNE

WOOOW!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO!

WOOOW!

IF YOU DON’T WANT TO!

WOOOW!

UNLESS ITS YOUR DESIRE!

WOOOW!

IF YOU WISH IT!

WOOOW!

THEN THAT’S COOL!

WOOOW!

I GUESS!

WOOOW!

HIP MOVEMENT!

WOOOW!

IT’S A MANS WORLD!

WOOOW!

GEORGIA!

WOOOW!

GEORGIAAAA!

WOOOW!

ITS NEW, YOU LIKE?!

WOOOW!

YOU DON’T LIKE IT?

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT THEN!

WOOOW!

YEAH!

WOOOW!

PARTAYE!

WOOOW!

You gonna keep doin that?

WOOOW!

You good?

WOOOW!

Yeah?

WOOOW!

Not gonna say anything else?

WOOOW!

I got the whole dictionary?

WOOOW!

ALRIGHT!

WOOOW!

GOOD STUFF!

WOOOW!

UNCANNY!

WOOOW!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We’re so single…

Aggressive Charity

I saw this donation box outside a supermarket in dubai

"YOUR PITY IS NOT ENOUGH"

muslims really know how to ask for money. what an intimidating fucking box. tell me you wouldnt put $100 in there, just out of fear. good stuff.

horrible

fuck

i shaved my beard off...i didnt mean to...my hand slipped...im so depressed...


this is the third time this has happened. im such a retard...

Tags: Life, depression, beard, random, Weblog

1. Be a better person

As many of you may or may not know people of the Orthodox religion celebrate christmas according to the old calendar (don’t ask me, i don’t know which one theyre referring to) so the dates are kinda different than what youre normally used to; 7th january: Christmas, 14th january: new years. Now, I am not a religious type-a guy but Im a serb so I celebrate christmas on the 7th (today) so before I go on with this post i want to wish a merry christmas to all the people of the world, no matter what religion you are. May your wishes come true.

Moving along…I realized that many people were posting their new years resolutions and since my new years (technically) is in a week and since yours was last week and since ramsey is a muslim (therefore, it doesn’t really matter) im gonna go ahead and post some resolutions that me n my friend set for ourselves and this pointless site. The trick with resolutions is that they don’t come true, its not a wish. Wishes you wish for n it may or may not come true while a resolution is a personal goal and you have to work for it hence it never working.

Our resolutions go a little somethin like this:

Oleg's Resolutions:

1. Be a better person

2. Get good grades

3. Make the hairs on my goatie actually connect

4. Learn to ride a pony

5. Become steve irwin’s right hand man

6. Star on "Water Rats"

7. Learn the Way of the samurai

8. Stop pissing on Ramsey’s dreams

9. Give birth

10. Learn to play the accordion

11. Become a gypsy

13. Kick a baby

14. Develop an Australian accent

Nasser’s Resolutions:

1. Be a better person

2. Learn Salsa

3. Wear more pants

4. Grow a few inches

5. Develop a gap in the middle of his unibrow

6. Grow hair on his feet

7. Grow a normal wrist

8. Stop being stupid

9. Get a girlfriend (hahahahahahahahahahahaha)

10. Lose his virginity (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

11. Learn the way of the jedi

12. Become tom cruise’s right hand man

13. Realize coldplay is gay (i mean it rhymes)

14. Make Oleg like him

Emptywhiteroom Resolutions:

1. Become better people

2. Hate things less

3. Swear less

4. Stop believing that anything that rhymes is cool (it aint no thang but a chicken wang)

5. Post posts that make sense

6. Develop a meaning for this site

7. Ramsey posting regularly

8. Ramsey contributing to this site

9. Ramsey realizing that Oleg is his guardian angel

10. Start giving a shit


Now feel free to comment and tell us some of your resolutions, as you can see me n ramsey are working on resolution number 10…

Tags: christmas, /new year/, resolutions, random

Hip to the Hop

Ok. Ive been gone for a while now but no worries, im back and today hip-hop is gonna get it. Now, I want everyone to understand that this is, in particular, a special post. Im a very big hip-hop fan, I listen to rap all the damn time. I listen to everything from old school to club bangers to gangsta rap… but recently its been real hard defending rap.

Rap started off being the voice of african americans, it was never popular cuz the focus wasn’t the beat but the lyrics. Then it became more of an im-gonna-listen-to-this-track-n-have-some-fun like run dmc or young will smith. But Nowadays…ah man, we got people like Lil’ john, nelly, snoop dogg, p. diddy (or whatever he calls himself), chingy, sean paul n so on n so on…

Now don’t get me wrong. I actually have all those rappers’ albums but as I said earlier, it gets harder n harder to defend those motherfuckers man…

Ying Yang Twins – Wait (the whisper song)

Chorus:
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
wait till you see my dick
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
Ima beat that pussy up.
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
wait till you see my dick
Ay bitch, wait till you see my dick
Ima beat that pussy up.
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up

CALL ME WHITE BUT I DON’T WANT TO BEAT ANYBODY’S PUSSY UP. IM SORRY! And what GENIUS came up with this song? Ying or yang? Cmon guys, who is it? AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU WHISPER THE WHOLE SONG IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE IT ALRIGHT! Firstly, I cant hear a DAMN thing your sayin secondly I DON’T THINK I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOURE SAYING. Damn. Things like these really get to me.


Nelly – Flap Your Wings

Chorus:
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Hell naw, ain't leavin' me alone, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl (flap your wings)
Hell naw, ain't leavin' me alone, girl (flap your wings)
Drop down and get your eagle on, girl
She's got that sweat drippin' all over her body
[Girl] Do you like that sweat drippin' all over my body?
Yea, I like that
That sweat drippin' all over your body
[Girl] You like that sweat drippin' all over my body

im sorry! WHY ARE YOU HAVING A DIALOGUE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SONG NELLY?! Cmoooooon man. And before you do the song ATLEAST explain to your listeners what it means to “get your eagle on.” Pleeeeaaaase do so cuz im not getting it. Its not cuz im slow but cuz im SCARED, Im not sure if I WANT TO get my eagle on. i dont even know what it is...I can just picture my scrawny self runnin around flappin my long n eerie arms…NOT COOL.


Chingy – Right Thurr

Chorus:
I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr)
Switch your hips when you're walkin', let down you're hurr (let down your hurr)
I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr)
Lick your lips when you're talkin', that make me sturr

Ok CHING youre just talkin jibberish now! For all you people who are unfamiliar with the terminology… thurr: there, hurr: hair, sturr: stare. THOSE THREE WORDS (WURRDS) ACTUALLY RHYME!!! WHY, oooooooh ching, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DECIDE TO MISPRONOUNCE N MISSPELL THEM?! WAS IT A PERSONAL CHOICE!? DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT LONG AND HARD?! cuz i dont wanna decypher songs when i listen to them… ITS LIKE AN ENIGMA.


Rhianna – Pon De Replayand

Chorus (x2):
Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up
All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin some more what
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up

Im sorry, what? Did you ACTUALLY make some sense? Like seriously. Did you take the TIME to fuck with my head? And for all you people who are unfamiliar with the terminology…join the club. I mean ok u can have an accent (like sean paul) but rhianna is SURELY gonna be nominated for best foreign act.

And for all you feminists out there, with your unshaven armpits n your buzz cuts (or are those lesbians? Whatever) this last song was ESPECIALLY for you guys since the other ones had to do with women getting their eagles on n letting down their hair, I just wanted to show you that FEMALES can also be… STUPID! and that rappers don’t have to be male to be nasty…have u ever heard of Peaches? Or Khia? Those some naaaaasty bitches…


Khia – My Neck, My Back

Chorus:
my neck,my back
lick my pussy and my crack
my neck,my back
lick my pussy and my crack

THANX FOR THE OFFER! BUT IL PASS!its not even an offer…IT’S A COMMAND. AAAW YOU NASTY! And you guys are lucky I spared you and only decided to show the chorus, you don’t even WANNA KNOW the rest…THIS WAS HER FIRST RADIO SINGLE! Whats the MATTER with you?! Are you DESEEEEEEAAAAAASED?! Oh u so nasty.

Now all these songs that I mentioned are cetegorized as “club bangers,” they’re usually played in clubs therefore, people dance to the beat and not the lyrics. However, I DON’T WANT TO LICK YOUR CRACK, I DON’T WANT THAT. I DON’T WANNA SEE IT…LICK IT…MAN I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT. AND NO I DON’T WANT MY GIRL TO GET HER EAGLE ON AND I DON’T WANT TO BEAT HER PUSSY UP! THESE ARE NOT MY DESIRES!

Ok. Relax. Im breathing now…in conclusion, we all listen to it. Maaaan you can say what you like but at the end of the day youre the one who goes to that club and dances to “the windoooooooow, to the wall. Till the sweat drip down my balls! Till all you bitches crawl!” i know you motherfuckers dance to it…its ok tho, its alright. I do it to, youre not alone. But all im sayin is that…aaaah man, why cant we all just get along? Why do we gota go beat pussies up n lick ass cracks? And go out of our way for our sweat to drip down our scrotum…like…no man. Im not in DESPERATE NEED for any of that. so in my second conclusion, I will stop defending the hip-hop that I love so much cuz at the end of the day we all bump our heads when we hear “go, go, go, go, go shawty, it’s yo birthday…”


Tags: rap, hip-hop, entertainment, random